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GREAT TEACHER EAGLE8BURGER - Printable Version

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GREAT TEACHER EAGLE8BURGER - eagle8burger - 02-09-2015 12:49 PM




RE: GREAT TEACHER EAGLE8BURGER - Anax - 02-09-2015 04:52 PM

Eagle-senpai....






RE: GREAT TEACHER EAGLE8BURGER - Jacob AngelStar - 02-09-2015 06:43 PM

Review. Please.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IkyBhGgwdh0&spfreload=10


RE: GREAT TEACHER EAGLE8BURGER - TwooGiz - 02-10-2015 07:08 AM

Getting one last review of this wouldn't hurt. I want to be prepared when I finally go back into the studio.




RE: GREAT TEACHER EAGLE8BURGER - spritestuff - 02-10-2015 07:58 AM

This is an interesting format... Fuck it, I'm in.





coz it's my most recent. But I'll have something for you to "Marvel" at, soon.


RE: GREAT TEACHER EAGLE8BURGER - Earl of Bassington - 02-10-2015 11:59 AM

do dis wan
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N7-fEt_YEZA

EDIT:

Nevermind! Do this one prease.~






RE: GREAT TEACHER EAGLE8BURGER - Truthordeal - 02-10-2015 04:32 PM

Good luck, Eagle.


RE: GREAT TEACHER EAGLE8BURGER - eagle8burger - 02-11-2015 02:54 PM

CLASS IS IN SESSION

Anax's Abridgellion




MVJ
After a bit of consideration, I awarded the MVJ to the MP3 sequence around 3 minutes into the episode. I don't think it was the funniest joke you had (I really like the "shank bitches", it just draws a chuckle with your Asuka voice), but it certainly was the best. The statement you were making about the series through that sequence was just really enjoyable, and you had me fistpumping at a joke I saw coming. Personally, I enjoy that over a cheap laugh. Great job.

Style
Through this video, it seems evident that you're attempting a straight parody with little attention towards the cinematic component prevalent in other series. I see no need to change that, I really enjoy what you're doing. I certainly understand your preference for purpleeyeswtf energy and parody style, but I think you're similar to Faulerro. Your best joke is also a statement about the series, and given your intellectual approach to abridging, I think you play better to the style of comedy. Though, then again, here am I with my lengthy review bullshit and I make some dumb stuff. How you continue is totally up to you, but I think your self-aware, heady humor is your best.

Flow
Overall, the flow in this episode was average. I thought you were on a roll between the first fight and the elevator scene, then your momentum slowed up. The elevator scene didn't really add anything, just a replication of the big talk vs. small talk of the opening. I would cut it. Look at your insert earlier about Shinji's cosmos to help yourself. It added a fun piece of information and did so in a very small amount of time.

The opening gag also dragged a little bit for me. I think you have to be weary of the character dynamic you've created. A lot of people shut there brains off at "big words, big words, big words", and will wait for the simple punchline. In the future, I'd advise you to try to characterize them a bit more and make the jokes stem from emotional reaction rather than word vomiting. To me, the opening punchline was better than the second because of the reaction of surprise at the end. More of that. Also, "Toji, my good man." is a fun line. Keep that running gag.

I'd also suggest trying to find a better ramp to your finale. The "Wazzzup?" reference at the end was cute, but it didn't seem to me to be the right note to end the episode on. In the future, I'd suggest trying to end with a callback of some caliber in order to put a bow on your episode. There's nothing inherently wrong with having a LOL SO RANDUMBXD ending, but I think it's much harder to get a big laugh out of it, and ultimately, you should want the last laugh to be the loudest.

Summary
Abridgellion Episode 9 by Anax is a fun, quirky parody at a time when most abridged series are measured by the ability of the sound editor and the beauty of the animation - hence why I strayed away on commenting on mic quality, voice acting, etc.. By tightening up the script and cutting a few scenes, this parody should get even better. For that reason, I rank this parody certified COOLBEANS. I also award it the prestigious honour of "Best Use of Goat Voice Actors in an Abridged series". In the next episode, Rei uses "Baaa-ramm-ewe" from Babe to talk down her malfunctioning Eva unit. This series can certainly improve, but for now, that'll do, Anax, that'll do.
_________________

Holy schnike, that's a lot of posts! Thank you for giving me the work. I'll review Jacob Angelstar's Tokyo Ghoul Parody next. Should be out sometime this weekend.


RE: GREAT TEACHER EAGLE8BURGER - eagle8burger - 02-15-2015 01:21 PM

SUNDAY SCHOOL, BITCHES

Open your textbooks to Jacob Angelstar's Tokyo Ghoulbumps Parody



MVJ
I know I'm a burger man by nature, but the McDonald's joke was almost flawlessly executed from a technical standpoint. You did a great job of introducing the premise (on the TV), had a set-up, a punchline and a payoff. I thought it was the best showcase of your writing potential in the episode.

Style
Based on the type of jokes you're writing, it seems like you're trying to do a fandub-ish parody inasmuch as you're not making major changes to the original material and not doing anything extravagant with the characters. I'm not against that. However, I think there are some things that are hindering you.

The voice acting in this series, while not bad, is really inconsistent. The range of emotion doesn't mesh well. I do like the voices, but they just don't play well off of each other. For example, I really liked GaoGaiKingTheGreat's performance as Hide, but it didn't mesh that well with Kaneki. It's not that I didn't like their dynamic, it's just that it would be nicer to see a build-up between characters over Kaneki's constant mispronunciation of Hide. More on that later.

I also think you need to work on your cinematic elements more. Lip-flaps need serious work, though they're not hard to fix. Just elbow grease, muh-man. Your sound effects and BGM are also inconsistent, which is distracting away from your content. For the style you're trying to achieve, I'd like to see you put effort into giving SFX to a few smaller motions and ambiance, and to also be more selective about your BGM choices (listen to more soundtracks). I'd also suggest looking at Alifluro's Noragami Abridged for a parody that doesn't divert far from the original.

Flow
This is where this episode really suffered. There's a lot that could, and probably should, be cut or re-arranged. It's hard to defend all 9 minutes of this episode being there. I'm sure you have your reasons for keeping these scenes, but I'm going to be upfront here. Brace yourself.

The opening, while not bad, feels unnecessary. It sets a tone completely different from the rest of the episode. I'd rather see you open with the Hide/Hide banter. Similarly, your opening isn't that long, but could be trimmed to a shorter verse.

The cutting you did during the date was a bit distracting. Those "whoosh" frames need to move faster. They also did very little for me. I'll admit I enjoyed the Tiny Tim track, but that's more because I enjoy Tiny Tim. I get that you're going for the happy song/dark moment joke, but that's just boring and recycled. Don't take me somewhere I don't have to be for something I've seen a million times. Cutaways have massive potential for great humour and shouldn't be wasted on jokes like that. Cut it.

I didn't mind the joke you were going for about the dark alley, but it just took too long to develop and you didn't have the footage to make it work well. I think you could have written around it, but it just delayed us more from getting to the excitement. Less foreplay, more sex, please. The same goes for the Doctor joke. It's a good joke, but let's leave from the Doctor's ASAP and get to the burger stuff.

And then we hit the Hide joke. Okay, I love running gags. I think they're fantastic. However, what you've chosen to do is force feed that joke to your audience like dead humans to Kaneki. I loved it in the opening, but then it just starts taking over the show and with no payoff. The joke doesn't develop, it's the same joke as before, but the context keeps changing. I'd accept the cutaway where Hide has a 6th sense about his name being mispronounced, but that's only because it adds to the joke. Again, stop recycling your humour and work on expanding it. I'm not against what you're trying to do, but I am against what you're doing.

The ending sequence was, again, mired by the cutaway to Hide preceding it, but I liked the idea of the ending. In my opinion, we should have got here earlier and stayed here longer. You had a good payoff in how Kaneki doesn't want to eat humans (who would?), but the end joke of "Down the hatch!" and the following "That's good." (in blackout) could have been bigger if we had more time on this scene. I'd have love to see Kaneki refuse more than once, or have Touka try to coax him with more childish phrases before force feeding him. A build-up would have really helped those final lines hit harder than they did for me.

Finally, I'd like to touch on the action sequences you have. I found your music selections didn't really mesh with the moments (though I guiltily enjoyed the use of "Why Did This Happen to Me?"), and the same goes for the writing. The Kurama joke for instance. I mean, I know a lot of people watch Naruto, but that was more agonizing than anything, because it's so specific. Just call it a 9-tailed fox! DON'T REMIND ME THAT I WATCH THAT SHOW THAT LONG! PLEASE. I WATCHED THE FILLER. ALL OF IT. I WAS YOUNG AND NAIVE AND DIDN'T UNDERSTAND JAPANIME. I'M SORRY, I'M RANTING.

Fight sequences have a lot of potential for humour, so don't squander it on cheap references. If you haven't already, watch WeeklyTubeShow's Dub of the North Star. It has some of the funniest action sequences I think I've seen in a parody. Obviously, don't cut and paste, but do try to understand the mechanics of those jokes and apply them in the future. I swear it'll inspire you to write something.

Summary
Jacob Angelstar's Abridged: Tokyo Ghoul - Episode 1 is a long-ish parody with very scattered humour. The few nuggets it finds are fun and well written, but certainly don't account for a 9-minute run time. Through some minor trims, and the addition of Angelstar's original humour, I can see the second episode of this series being awesome given the platform of potential this episode has given. As such, I rank this episode SWIFFER REQUIRED - a very decent rank for a first episode. I'd also like to award you the prestigious Golden Arches award for proficiency in McDonald's based humour.

Finally, let's remember that you still got 100,000 views for this video. That is awesome that you've been able to entertain that many people, and I congratulate you for that. I definitely think you have a ways to improve, but you're definitely doing something right. I hope this review helps you find your direction. Good luck! I eagerly await your next episode!


RE: GREAT TEACHER EAGLE8BURGER - Jacob AngelStar - 02-15-2015 10:14 PM

I am honored for this odd reward. Don't worry, I plan on making some of those concepts into reality.


RE: GREAT TEACHER EAGLE8BURGER - eagle8burger - 02-23-2015 06:15 PM

MONDAY = BACK TO CLASS!

Today, we're studying Two Guys and 1 More's Negro Lagoon.
GET YO' PENCIL'S OUT. OR PENS. I DON'T DISCRIMINATE.



MVJ
To me the clear winner was the Hitler/Disney love child. I really liked how the entirety of the the episode just moved to that joke. It made every joke previous to it funnier and the episode itself instantly re-watchable. 10 POINTS TO GRIFFINWHORE!

Style
This is a really fun parody. I hate to bring it up again, but I get shades of Dub of the North Star - which makes sense given the presence of a certain cast member Tongue. It has a nice balance between cinematic and straight parody, which I really enjoy. That may be feeding into my own biases a bit, but I honestly don't think there's anything you should really do to shake up your style. The visual gags were a nice touch as well - very nicely understated. All in all, well done stylistically.

Flow
The flow in this episode was great, mostly from a voice acting perspective. I thought some of the writing could have been trimmed up in places, but it makes sense why you kept it.

The character dynamic you have for the crew in this series is really fantastic, and I hope you keep it up. I hadn't watched episode 1 of your series before watching this episode, and all the character traits and personalities are very clear. Great job on that. I didn't get a ton of laughs, but I got a crap ton of giggles - and I love to giggle. It's freakin' awesome. There were definitely some "meh" jokes, but the characterization saved them most of the time. I'd suggest you get a little stingier about what you leave in, but there was nothing in this episode that hurt the flow of the episode as a whole.

The one thing I'd advise in the future is to work on your lip flapping a bit. I realize this might be a stylistic choice, but I think it would help make your show funnier. I just found that it was distracting at times.

I'd also advise you to beef up a bit on BGM and SFX - even if it's really minor. The "When You Wish Upon a Star" sequence was exceptionally funny to me. I mean, what else would a Disney cruise ship be playing? I think you have untapped potential with your musical comedy which could really add to the feel of the show and in turn the flow. Obviously, I'm biased in the music I enjoy, but I'd check out Supernatural the Abridged Animation for a parody with a really great soundtrack.

Summary
There aren't many parodies that are worth the 10 minute run time, but Negro Lagoon 2 is a pleasing exception to the rule. The excellent pacing and the plethora of comedy that ranges from the intellectually clever to the borderline retarded (see Revi fart sequence) are sure to have you giggling (and farting in laughter) throughout. Additionally, it has a phenomenal VA cast with great acting across the board. Nevertheless, it needs a few upgrades in places to be noted as a Hall of Famer. As such, I induct this parody into the HALL OF THE VERY GOOD. Furthermore, I award it the "Walt Hitler" award for Most Anti-Semetic Offspring to be Begot in an Abridged Series. Can't wait until your next episode!
________________________________________
Next week I will review Spritestuff's Batman! Son of Him! Batson! Parody. Justice will be lectured.


RE: GREAT TEACHER EAGLE8BURGER - Copley - 02-25-2015 10:51 AM

Let's build up that backlog!




RE: GREAT TEACHER EAGLE8BURGER - eagle8burger - 03-13-2015 10:06 AM

NANANANANANANANA...BATSON!!!!!
(Sorry for the delay. School and shit. Mostly shit.)



MVJ
This was hard, but ultimately I'm giving it to "Son, Dad, MANBATTTS!!!!" This joke got a full laugh out of me. It was the climax of a well developed relationship between two characters and interrupted a semi-believable touching moment. The reason I want to highlight this joke is that so often in abridging, we divorce ourselves from feels in pursuit of something funny. This shouldn't be the case. A joke with emotion behind it will always play better than something flat. We talk a lot about character based comedy, but even that falls flat without emotion. As far as I am concerned, "Son, Dad, MANBATTTS!!!!" is a HoF quality joke.

Style
I felt your style in this took a bit away from the comedy at times. At times, it came off as a cinematic piece that kinda half-assed it. Not that I blame you - the cinematic route is a hard one to pull off effectively. The problem I had with it was it felt like you were trying to compromise for cinematic components with music. This works on a small scale, but to try and maintain that patch for a 15 minute parody is pretty hard to do without it becoming noticeable.

Still, I think you chose the right style to go about this. You certainly were able to set some moments very well with BGM - specifically Batman's introduction. Honestly, I thought he was Archer dressed up as Batman. That music really made that introduction.

There were other points where you just did whatever the fuck you wanted - like the stab SFX when Filth was treating Bruce. I really liked these parts and that kind of substitution - very purpleeyes-esque. At the same time, I think that based on the way you were writing it, the cinematic style was more beneficial to your style of comedy. Had it driven a reaction out of characters, I'd be in favour of it, but it felt more like: Funny SFX....giggle giggle.

Also, as a quick side note, don't worry about footsteps that much, dude. There are better places to spend your time.

As someone who also frequently half-asses the cinematic, I'd advise looking at Archer for how they handle their SFX department vs. sound, as well as Supernatural: The Abridged Animation (it has a great soundtrack imo). That said, I don't think you'd even have this issue if your parody was under the 8-minute mark, which is a nice segue to your period. I mean...

Flow
As sort of indicated with the MVJ, I think you took a little too long to get into your main story - the relationship between Batman and his son. Everything that you wrote on that subject was absolutely fantastic - certainly Hall of Very Good worthy and maybe even Hall of Fame worthy. The problem was your scope went far beyond that which took me away from where the central comedy was.

Again, the intro isn't bad in its own right, it just clashes with where your best stuff is. There's a lot of character information and back story going on that just doesn't need to be there - it's not going to get brought up again. Really, the only two things I need to get out of the opening are that Robin will kill people, and stay the fuck away from rocket launchers. Trim the fat on that.

I also felt that the fight scenes could have been handled better (surprise, surprise). The "Violence Ensues" cards were nice, but I felt could have been done quicker and more effectively. You have this great end shot with Slade's guy being all "Why didn't you just ask?". I think it would have been a nicer payoff if Robin had opened with "I need to ask you a few questions", then the card, then Slade's response. And maybe something about a spleen being ripped out. I don't know why I always find spleens funny. Spleeen. My point is, the script as is doesn't directly service your punchline - in fact, I find it detracts from it. This leaves you with something jarring - again, taking us away from the great relationship you have between Tim, Robin and Batman - and frankly, not worth cutting to. I realizes this scene serves to flesh out Robin's character and introduce Tim, but that doesn't excuse it from being as long as it is and not as worthwhile. I'm only cracking down on this because I enjoy the rest of your parody a lot and I hate to see you fall into the pitfall of servicing a scene that just doesn't need to a) be that long or b) be there at all.

The ending suffered through similar problems. The music was a good idea, but wasn't executed very well. It was just...kinda...there. Considering it plays until the very end of the video, it should really service more than "Awwe Yeah! This is my jam!". The endings were both great - in full service to the characters in them - great job on that. Again, it's just the getting there that is the struggle.

Summary
Spritestuff's Batman! Son of Him! Batson! is a fun, bad ass parody that is, unfortunately, a little on the long side. Despite its faults, however, it has a great, semi-platonic love triangle at its center which makes for must watch TV...I mean, YouTube. With some tune-ups and trimming, this parody could stand to be even better and more hilarious than it is. As it is now, I certify this parody as COOLBEANS and award it the "Dad?...Dad????" Award for Excellence in Estranged Father/Son Relationships for Comedic Purposes.

I'd also note that Spritestuff's latest video - Spiderman and his Fuck Buddies - while grossly immature resolves a lot of the issues I've outlined here. I'm glad to see you're already improving on your own. I'd rather have a great student than be a great teacher.


RE: GREAT TEACHER EAGLE8BURGER - spritestuff - 03-13-2015 08:33 PM

I get what you mean about the fightscenes. I actually wanted to do a Bat-man parody to try and do comedic fightscenes, So I may need more practice, or just make all my videos objectively pacifist in the future.

Thanks for the review man!

Now do Spider-Man. and you have to review it as seriously as this one.

Do it.





Bitch.


RE: GREAT TEACHER EAGLE8BURGER - eagle8burger - 03-13-2015 11:47 PM

Link or GTFO.

















































































Bitch.


RE: GREAT TEACHER EAGLE8BURGER - spritestuff - 03-14-2015 12:13 AM
































































Bitch.


RE: GREAT TEACHER EAGLE8BURGER - Anax - 04-22-2015 12:16 AM

(02-25-2015 10:51 AM)Copley Wrote:  Let's build up that backlog!






RE: GREAT TEACHER EAGLE8BURGER - eagle8burger - 04-23-2015 12:35 PM

CLASS IS BACK

After a mid-semester sabbatical, it's time to look at Earl of Bassington's and CoffinJockeys HAxHA Abridged Parody.



MVJ
While I don't feel it was a standout joke, I enjoyed the "legal fucking" at the end of the episode. It was well crafted, and even though it was somewhat foreseeable, it was well done. It put a very nice bow on the end of the episode - which isn't always easy to do. It was probably the most penetrating (pun intended, obvi) joke as it executed a call back to something that happened 6 minutes ago.

Style
I'd liken this to some Monty Python sketches - this is a very silly parody, which made it hard for me to pick a standout joke. You get big laughs off really shallow comedy - which isn't a bad thing by any means. Bean is probably my favourite thing about the episode and I'd say he epitomizes your sense of humour. The whole thing has a "Ministry of Silly Walks" feel about it that I just can't shake at times. I also really loved the lawyer joke on Hisoka's walkie talkie. The DudeBro lawyer really made me laugh. I'd say this style made your Saw reference towards the end more enjoyable as we know how lighthearted the humour is in the show, so even when you make an easy joke like that, you get more laughs than growns.

I'd be remiss without mentioining the "genetically superior Kurapika" is one of my favourite out of nowhere jokes.

This style of humour really does it for me. Which is why I had a problem with your...

Flow
TOO MANY SEGUES. GET REKT.

The problem with this style of humour is that it's only really effective if you can sustain momentum - something this parody struggled with at times. Everything from around The Oreo's first legal fucking to the end was fantastic in balancing pace with this style of humour. However, everything before (which is a lot of stuff) was exceptionally uneven.

The vocal performances were enough to keep me invested, but it didn't do a great job of balancing the dryness of Brendan Hunter with the rest of the parody. I had issues with the cold opening because it didn't introduce your style of humour well at all. It feels like a totally different parody until you hit your theme song - which is a major problem because it falls flat when paired with this darker sense of humour. Reverse this, and you get great moments like the "genetically superior Kurapika" in episode 1. As soon as the lawyer gag starts, I felt a real shift in tone. A shift that I personally liked. I don't want to encourage to back away from dark humour, but be wary of your placement. I think your dark humour will play a lot better if you thematically stay on silly rather than on dark.

Too much Gon strangling without humour too, imo. Again, I think an adjustment in tone would really help that play better.

Summary
The dynamic duo of Earl of Bassington and CoffinJockey Esq. have crafted a really fun, silly HunterxHunter parody in HAxHA. In a YouTube with so many HxH parodies, Earl and Coffin have certainly found a niche in the Americanized landscape with their silly Canadianness a la Terrance and Phillip or Corey and Trevor. By trimming the episode length and capitalizing on their lighthearted sense of humour, I think this series has the potential to be a standout. For now, I will certify it as the highest ranking of COOLBEANS - ABSOLUTEZEROBEANS. I can't overlook its shortcomings, but it certainly had a lot of moments that were Hall of Very Good worthy. I would also like to award it the COOLBEANS award for having an Awesomely Cool Bean(like) Character.

Next class, I will review Copley's Code Geass Parody.

STUDY HARD. PARTY HARD


RE: GREAT TEACHER EAGLE8BURGER - AwesomeChroniclesUK - 04-24-2015 08:47 AM

I already know this if gonna get 'Hall of Shamed' but, eh, you never know.






RE: GREAT TEACHER EAGLE8BURGER - eagle8burger - 04-29-2015 05:16 PM

SIT DOWN SON, AND LET ME GIVE YOU COPLEY LESSON





MVJ
The McDonald's joke hit the hardest for me. It's a great "hat on a hat" - it's already funny that they're driving into a McDonald's, then it's twisted that the McDonald's they're driving into isn't even built. "Hat on a hat's" often don't work well long term, but as an aside joke, this is just great. I really liked it. It's inspirational.

Style
This feels like a very loyal mock - along the lines of something Alifluro might do (which is kinda funny that she's in it). At the same time, I liked the style that this episode opened with. The slideshow was really well put together and had huge potential. Then it just kinda...shifted away from that...yeah. I'll bring this up more in the "Flow" section, but opening with one kind of comedy then flipping to another can be a turn off for a lot of viewers.

Nevertheless, the editing was very up to par. I know you've received a lot of heck about lip-flaps, but in all honesty, I didn't find them that distracting. While they could be improved, the fact they didn't take away from anything is good.

I'd advise you to look at your second episode script and really consider what you're going for stylistically, then re-write it to cement that point.

I also think you need to be aware of your contemporaries and fellow parodists. Obviously, the big name attached to CodeGeass is purpleeyeswtf. I like that that you've distanced yourself stylistically from him and carved your own niche, but some of the jokes ran a little too close. Honestly, it's a great challenge to your writing and will often leave you searching for better ideas. I know there are other CodeGeass abridged series as well, so you should check them out too - I guarantee it will motivate you to write different and, hopefully, funnier jokes.

Flow
The flow of this episode was in question a lot. That's to be expected of a first episode, but I will still address it.

A lot of the scenes you have overstay their welcome for the jokes they are trying to deliver. The longer a scene goes, the bigger the expectation there is for a joke. Let's look at the jokes that I thought were perfect (or at least 8/10). First, the McDonald's joke. That was a 3 liner and a visual gag - biggest laugh I got. The second one was Jeremiah singing the "99 Filthy Elevens" song. That was maybe 4 seconds. Everything else was just kinda...meh.

The epitome of this was in your last scene with Lelouch and CC having their conversation about powers. There is so much potential in this scene and instead of anything remotely groundbreaking comedic, we have an explanation scene which runs around 20 seconds. Now look at your funny jokes, now back to me. Then back at your funny jokes, then back to me. See how I'm 20 seconds long and they're short and to the point? See how this joke has already gone on too long and isn't funny anymore? That's the point. For a 20 second investment - where you're putting your time writing - there really isn't a payoff, and there absolutely should be. Empirically, a 20 second joke should be funnier than a 3 second joke. It should at least garner a deeper laugh.

Another thing that I felt was holding this parody back were the VA performances. You don't need to be louder, but there definitely needs to be more conviction. A lot of them I just don't buy. Even in the last sequence, the concept of the joke - that he's getting more and more desperate for the power to save his life - could have been saved by a decent VA performance, but it just wasn't there. Either you need to write to that voice, or get that voice to perform the character you've written better. To be clear, I'm not speaking the person, but just the performance - and the performance certainly could have been better.

Now to go to a quick lesson while I'm on this tangent. Guys, you don't have to explain the show to your audience. You don't. If you can do it in a comedic way, fantastic. Go for it. If you feel it's holding you back and forcing you to write something you don't find funny, but you feel you "have" to put in - don't do it. You're either re-explaining it to people who are aware of the show, or you are taking away joke time from someone who is trying to watch something funny. I feel that's what happened in the last scene of this episode. You felt that Lelouch's Geass is so significant to the show that it warranted an explanation for future episodes. Fine, but is that really that difficult of a concept to pitch? What if he's a hypnotist? What if he doesn't realize he has these powers? What if he thinks it's just pinkeye? What if, what if, what it. These aren't necessarily good ideas, but there ideas that are trying to be comedic - which is better than pandering to the source material for the sake of pandering to the source material.

It just irks me to no end when writers have the opportunity to add to a character through their perspective of their character, and they choose not to. Unfortunately, what this does is it gives you no "in" to your second episode - we still don't really know who any of these characters are personality wise. They're all very vanilla - except maybe Jeremiah. I'm not sure if you're familiar with the improv concept of "yes, and...", but I think it's very significant to helping you improve your series. Your series just needs more "and": you have a lot of good concepts, but no real reactions to those concepts - or at least none memorable enough for me to bring up. I know this is a biting review, but I'm only emphasizing this particular area because it will improve your show more than an other area I could have touched on, and I'd rather crack down on it thoroughly.

Summary
Copley's Code Geass: Abridging the Rebellion isn't CodeMENT for better and for worse. It is a fresh take on the Code Geass series with its own new style. However, this style is going to need to improve its comedy and voice acting to truly distinguish itself in a saturated abridging market. As such, I rate this episode RAMBO. The editing and maybe 3-4 jokes kept me going, but these didn't take up a lot of space in a 9 minute parody. Despite this low ranking, I really think this series can improve overnight. I also would like to award it the Ron Burgundy Memorial Trophy for Best News Channel Graphics in an Abridged Series in 2015. Best of luck on your next episode!