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Boco Badgers you 'Bout Being Better
07-19-2016, 02:01 PM (This post was last modified: 07-22-2016 12:35 AM by thedarkboco.)
Post: #1
Boco Badgers you 'Bout Being Better
I'll get this out of the way real quick, since most (all) of the critique threads have been stagnant for a while and since there is an (assumed) influx of new people (thanks to the #TIBA contest) who (hopefully) want their hard work critiqued, I thought I'd go ahead make a thread for it.

Before I get started, I wanna layout a few ground rules to keep thing order if possible.

1. It has to be a full episode/video, meaning no trailers, sneak peaks and the like.

2. Don't post videos that I had alot to do with, VAing, editing, writing, etc
.

Now that I got that out of the way, I'll explain how my critiques for the foreseeable future are planed to work, there are Six sections.


TTL or Time To Laugh
The amount of time from starting the episode to the first time the video gets me to laugh, chuckle or laugh in my head. hopefully this will be a
small number.


Writing
This is pretty self explanatory, its the quality of your jokes, please make them good.


Voice Acting
I'm not the best judge of VA work, so this wont have a ton of focus, but if I can notice problems with it, you might want to rethink some things.


Visual Editing
The quality of visual edits, lip flaps and any other edits that are absorbed through the eyes.


Sound Editing
The timing of the lines, the Sound Effects, background music and anything else that its absorbed through the ears.


TOT or Tap-Out Time
Hopefully I wont have to use this that much but just incase, TOT is the time I would normally stop watching the video if I wasn't critiquing it.





Also as a reminder, in the end these reviews are my opinion and you are free to disagree with them as much as you want.

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07-19-2016, 03:12 PM
Post: #2
RE: Boco Badgers you 'Bout Being Better
Cool.
Give this a go, if you will.
https://youtu.be/vyGoNF2gIjU

Note that I am a connoisseur of criticism, and might reply back with a metacritique. Why? Well, everyone can use improvement. Even improvement in helping others improve.

Editor for all of An Untitled Abridger.
Check out The Advent of Haruhi Suzumiya. The only abridged series that has ever been updated daily.
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07-19-2016, 05:12 PM
Post: #3
RE: Boco Badgers you 'Bout Being Better
Never got feedback for this despite it being several months old now




Go see Age of Inside Out.
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07-19-2016, 11:41 PM
Post: #4
Untitled Abridgers RumbleChumps Critique
(07-19-2016 03:12 PM)ToNi Wrote:  Note that I am a connoisseur of criticism, and might reply back with a metacritique. Why? Well, everyone can use improvement. Even improvement in helping others improve.

I'm cool with that, I'm gonna need alot of critiquing since I haven't really done anything like this before.

(07-19-2016 03:12 PM)ToNi Wrote:  Cool.
Give this a go, if you will.
https://youtu.be/vyGoNF2gIjU

Alright bear with me, since I've never written an critique like this, it might be a bit rough. As a side, I haven't seen this show so I'll be a bit uninformed as to the story.

I'll be trying to give time codes so that its easier for you to find what I'm talking about, but I may not have them for a few bits.

TTL 4 minutes, 15 seconds, Type: Laugh in my head
Quote:Eat the book.
I DONT WANNA EAT THE BOOK.
Thats not a good time for a first laugh, I'm of the opinion that you should open with your best joke (that you can with whats in the scene), I understand that's its hard to write a good joke and introduce your characters since it was a oneshot and all.


Writing
The constant "rewording" of the protagonists name isn't funny and feels rather forced. On the other hand the "eat the book" joke is brought up about the same amout of times and is funny most of the time, because its unexpected and more creative then really poor word "play".

Calling out stuff as "weeb stuff" or addressing it as a Light novel or a visual novel has been done in to the ground.... three times over, not original or funny.

3:45: I don't what it is about this line, but it bugs me alot, I dunno it kinda feels like it was just lifted from the show.

Also the "Voted most likely to slip on a banana peel" line is a good throw away joke line, again because it was unexpected.


Editing
0:36: The backgrounds in This back and forth between these characters aren't consistent, since two the characters are in what looks like a stair well and the other two are outside, depending on what shots you have you could mask two of them into the other shot to fix it.

2:51: These lip flaps are too fast, his head is also gyrating back and forth and its looks pretty bad, this happens a few other times in the episode like at 3:30. To fix the motor flaps you should make sure the the flaps frames are at least 2 frames long instead of 1, to fix the gyrating I suggest that you mask the lips from the different frames and stick them over some of the other ones to keep heads in place.

3:00: This is either this is poorly edited or his mouth just doesn't move.

Also as a side note, you should really work on your transitions some of them are really jarring, I recommend having a short establishing shot if possible.


Voice
Mitsukis VA really needs some work, I don't really feel any emotion behind some of her lines or they don't match the animation.

The sound quality for Haruka sounds bad, "watery" i guess? Theses nothing you can really do about that short of getting her a new mic.


VFX
6:49: the scale of the car versus the character is really really off, you should have scaled that up a bit.

6:51: the time between the groan of pain and the blood splashing across the screen should have been why less then it is.


SFX
4:18: You should have a bit more time between this scene change and the start of the line, it starts way too soon, almost before the viewer can take in where the scene is.

4:35: You might have wanted a different sound effect for that twig snap, it sounds more like a limp breaking of a tree then a twig snapping.

9:20: When I was watching this, I was really surprised that this hug didn't have a sound effect and if a viewer notices that something didn't have a sound effect, it probably needs one.


Overall, Rumblechumps is a low to middle of the road abridged episode, not really good but not offensively bad either.

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07-20-2016, 11:09 AM
Post: #5
RE: Boco Badgers you 'Bout Being Better




In the process of the next video, wanting to know if there's some stuff you notice that could help quality-wise for the next one.

EARL of BASSINGTON
Vidyas and Other Nonsense

HA x HA #4 (Hunter x Hunter Parody Series)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y9vOUsaA_kM
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07-20-2016, 10:33 PM
Post: #6
RE: Boco Badgers you 'Bout Being Better



plz nd thank you.

On 7/2/16, at 12:37 AM, Charlie (Charleston) wrote:
> Asss mu zasss hole


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07-20-2016, 11:31 PM
Post: #7
RE: Boco Badgers you 'Bout Being Better
*looks at Tiba discord*

Huh.... small world





I remember you saying you didn't find it particularly funny but I would greatly appreciate a full outlined review I'm currently starting on episode 2 and want to concentrate on making it better.
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07-21-2016, 07:51 PM
Post: #8
Spritestuffs Spider-man and His Amazing Fuck Buddies 2 critque
(07-19-2016 05:12 PM)spritestuff Wrote:  Never got feedback for this despite it being several months old now




TTL 0:10 Type: Audible snicker
Quote:Waring the following video contains several uses of the Cee word, but thats okay! Because women are cunts!

Well, thats a really time good to get a laugh, fantastic job.


Writing
3:09: I have to say I absolutely love, well done live action scenes, if you were still in the abridging market I would tell you to keep doing them like this
3:54: Ah violence against the elderly, fantastic extra touches with the black eye and the broken tooth
7:07: I will admit that I am a fan of killing off main characters, its usually unexpected and fantastic.
8:00: This is the most accurate description of abridging I've seen for a while

I'm actually surprised that I didn't have a huge issue with the writing style of the joke, since I'm not a huge fan sex jokes, but I think since you spaced them out instead of having a torrential downpour "mmm'dick" punch lines.


Voice Acting
Fantastic, no complaints here


Editing
I'm not gonna bother critiquing the lip flapping/Lip sync since I'm 99% sure that its done poorly on purpose. Major props for working with old footage though
4:25: for a frame or two craven is on screen, its very noticeable and rather distracting
7:12: gonna say it bluntly, the masking in this shot is terrible, (I'm not sure if this was "artistic choice" or no but I'll treat as not) I'm not sure if you mask in editor or with Photoshop, but I recommend masking with an editor because they are more accurate then magic wand tools in most image editors.


VFX
6:52: If I didn't know better (and if not for the lava splash afterwords) I would think that this was actually part of the show, good job on this effect.


SFX
2:59 the timing between this line and the actual doinking of the Dino should be way less than is.


Overall Spider-man and his amazing fuck buddies 2 is a rather good, raunchy throw back to old cartoons of yestercentury.

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07-24-2016, 09:04 PM
Post: #9
RE: Boco Badgers you 'Bout Being Better



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07-25-2016, 04:32 PM
Post: #10
Thumbs Up HA x HA Episode 4 Critique
(07-20-2016 11:09 AM)Earl of Bassington Wrote:  



In the process of the next video, wanting to know if there's some stuff you notice that could help quality-wise for the next one.


As a disclaimer, I am not familiar with anything Hunter x Hunter related, except for the guy who gets hair as tall as like three buildings.


TTL 2:24 Type: Audible Chuckle
Quote:*unexpected sasuke in opening*
Oh hey a joke in an opening, I don't get to see too many of those, and this one was wayyyyy out of left field and I loved it.


Writing
0:56 I really don't care for song jokes in general, they usually feel pretty forced and take up a lot of time, just like this one.

3:50: This whole bit from tall-blackhairedmin-whos-name-I'm-too-lazy-to-look-up is actually rather entertaining, I rather like his voice too, good character.

6:05 Being meta in this way (referring to episodes) is something I think shouldn't be done because its a bit too easy and it feels cheap.


Voice Acting

No complaints here, everyone has great quality sound and none of the characters voices blend together, good job!


Editing
6:27: Hisokas lips don't match up with this laugh, its pretty obvious that you tried to sync the original video to your lines, but it doesn't work very well in general. I would say see if you can place flaps on a scale and moving track in your editor if possible.


VFX
1:55: The perspective on this hand is really weird if you think about it, to fix it just put the hand behind the character and it would feel better.


SFX
3:31: This blanket moving sound effect kinda feels out of place, probably because not much other movement was SFXed in this episode.

I rather enjoy the use of a Final Fantasy battle theme as sung by horns near the end of the episode, it really helps carry the jokes.

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07-25-2016, 05:13 PM (This post was last modified: 07-25-2016 05:14 PM by Inutsu.)
Post: #11
RE: Boco Badgers you 'Bout Being Better
Oh great and mighty Boco! We recently completed our first video and would like you to tell us how bad we are, please and thank you!




(01-20-2014 10:31 PM)Pineapple Justice Wrote:  That's what makes us great.
That's what makes this place great.
And, by god, that's what makes America great.
*Flag waving behind me. Oh, so gloriously. Suck it, England.*

God bless the AbrigeForms!
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07-31-2016, 08:44 PM
Post: #12
Thumbs Up RE: Boco Badgers you 'Bout Being Better
(07-20-2016 10:33 PM)Whipmed Wrote:  


plz nd thank you.



TTL 1:53 Type: Smile
Quote: "We'll see what my magic sharingan has to say about this. *pulls up head band to reveal an 8-ball failure state*
As I've said before, I'm a huge sucker for visual jokes, and this one is no exception, its pulled off very well, its funny, unexpected and edited well.

Writing
0:32: I for one prefer that honorifics be left out of translations, I feel like it cheapens the experience and takes you out of it.

4:55: I do rather like this series of jokes using any long drawn out series of words but the actual title of the attack, great job.

Voice Acting
The voice acting isn't bad, but it isn't the best but, given that the series only has four episodes, I find it probable that your VAs just haven't come into voicing their characters yet.

Editing
I notice a whole lot of the shots are focused on Zabuza and Kakashi both of whom don't have lips to flap, if possible maybe try to add a way of showing them talking underneath the masks.

1:42: The masking of this Naruto here isn't done super well, if you look over at this right shoulder you can see a lot of the background that you took him from

3:36: Either you should have found a different helicopter image to use or tried removing the background a bit better, because it looks rather bad.

SFX
5:14: I feel like you might have accidentally put two of the swish sounds on the timeline, since there doesn't really seem to be anything for the second one to go to.

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08-04-2016, 03:15 PM (This post was last modified: 08-04-2016 03:16 PM by thedarkboco.)
Post: #13
Thumbs Down RE: Boco Badgers you 'Bout Being Better
(07-20-2016 11:31 PM)Abridgacons Wrote:  *looks at Tiba discord*

Huh.... small world





I remember you saying you didn't find it particularly funny but I would greatly appreciate a full outlined review I'm currently starting on episode 2 and want to concentrate on making it better.


TTL? (Infinity)

I didn't want to be pulling this out so soon, oh well.

Writing

1:32: This whole opening monologue takes waaaaay too long, it takes a minute and half which almost a fourth of your run time, not something you want to be doing.

2:32: Couldn't you think of anything better then a leroy jenkins joke? Like anything is better then a meme that was dead and buryed 3 times by 2010.

3:55: I'm really not a fan of the "What if X happens? X will never happen. Ahhh X happened!" type of jokes, they feel really over done and lazy, that said they can be done right, but they aren't here.

Voice Acting

All of your voice actors need to work on thier acting to varying degrees, also you might want to see if you can do voice directing for your VAs (if you didn't) or you could try to see if there are any more experienced people in the community would be willing to help voice direct.

Editing

0:58: During this whole flashback thing, you've got the lip flaps moving for these characters who aren't saying anything, personally I would just mask a closed flap over them, this happens multiple times through out the episode.

1:41: Nice job coming up with a way to show this character talking even though he doesn't have flaps.

2:49: Instead of glowing this whole thing you should have just glowed the "windows" because when the glow goes away completely its rather jarring and it seems to move around a little.

3:46: The light you're using to show this character talking (again good job doing that) isn't fully masked/ had a glow applied to it so it just looks like its overlaid in a few frames.

6:20: Nice job on that logo, except if you look closely on the "Re-Rolled" part you can clearly see a white border on all the letters.

SFX

Your SFX is actually pretty decent by my standards, (that said I'm not super into SFX stuff) but some of them could stand to be balanced a bit lower.

3:05: This is balanced extremely low versus everything else so far in the episode, also I'm pretty sure you just took it from the original show

3:28: Am I suppost to be able to understand this character? I have to strain my ear super hard just to make out words, you might wanna work on that.

Other (I cant believe I have to add this)

You should probably make the the title of your video match you logo, you forgot the "-".

You might wanna credit your voice actors in the description, just a thought.

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08-08-2016, 12:49 PM (This post was last modified: 08-08-2016 12:50 PM by Haxlax.)
Post: #14
RE: Boco Badgers you 'Bout Being Better
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AUfbqzFTsng

I made this about a year ago, but I would love some critiques!

Edit:Wait how do I get the video to embed??
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08-08-2016, 06:08 PM
Post: #15
RE: Boco Badgers you 'Bout Being Better
(07-24-2016 09:04 PM)MrSkoringo Wrote:  




TTL: 1:20 Type: slight smile

Writing

The writing in this was rather lack-luster, the jokes aren't bad per se, they're just really predictable, which is something you don't want in a comedy.

Voice Acting

The voice acting in this was really good! I only have a problem with Piccolos voice, it doesn't really fit his appearance,
but its not "Haha, he shouldn't sounds like that!" its just more of "why?" then again that might just be me having preconceived thoughts of what Piccolo should sound like thanks to other media.

Editing

1:46: I'm pretty sure this aura around Gohan was added (I cant be sure since I never watched Kai) it looks really good, I could almost believe that it was from the original.

1:54: The border on this wine bottle is a bit hard, maybe try feathering it a bit, nice job with the Freeza edit though.

2:26: I'm not sure what the editor was going for with this edit, if it was a bruise good job, but that doesn't really fit with situation, I would say a burned look would make more sense.

SFX
The sound effects in this were really good, they could almost pass as being the actual show, they could stand to be balanced slightly lower though.

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08-08-2016, 09:34 PM
Post: #16
RE: Boco Badgers you 'Bout Being Better
(08-08-2016 06:08 PM)thedarkboco Wrote:  Editing

1:46: I'm pretty sure this aura around Gohan was added (I cant be sure since I never watched Kai) it looks really good, I could almost believe that it was from the original.


2:26: I'm not sure what the editor was going for with this edit, if it was a bruise good job, but that doesn't really fit with situation, I would say a burned look would make more sense.
I belive those were parts of the original funny enough.

Thanks for your kind words.

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08-08-2016, 10:54 PM
Post: #17
RE: Boco Badgers you 'Bout Being Better




I suppose I'll have a whack at this critique thing.
Don't be gentle and thanks Smile
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08-12-2016, 03:49 PM
Post: #18
Thumbs Down RE: Boco Badgers you 'Bout Being Better
(07-25-2016 05:13 PM)Inutsu Wrote:  Oh great and mighty Boco! We recently completed our first video and would like you to tell us how bad we are, please and thank you!




Disclaimer: I know next to nothing about Yu Yu Hakusho, don't mind my ignorance.


TTL: ? (Infinity)


Writing

0:07: I'm really not a fan of using "LOL Illuminati" humor, its just gotten to a point where its grating and I never wanna hear the word again.

To be honest the script isn't that bad, alot of the lines just aren't delivered very well.

Voice Acting

All of the voice actors in this aside from Ali really need to work on their annunciation and emotion. As I've said before, I'm not very good with critiquing VA work. As always I will recommend live directing if don't do it already.


Editing

0:07: I feel like this report card shouldn't have been just overlayed, maybe if it was semi transparent, and possibly at an angle. I do notice that it appears that you created it your-self and I applaud you for that, but you can tell it was made. when I made my TIBA entry I also had report card of sorts, but I couldn't find a template that I was happy with using (I'm assuming the same happened to you) so I just took one from a different anime and edited it to fit my needs WARING LARGE IMAGE
Spoiler(Show)
[Image: h1uWZLA.png]

0:10: Just having a two frame loop looks awfully bad, you might have wanted to look for different ways to show this.

0:22: Is this body a edit? (The one on the ground) Because it looks pretty bad, you might want to masking it again to include all of the outline.

0:30: You might want to take a second look at these flaps here, they look pretty bad, I would recommend transplanting some ones from another scene.

2:41: if you look down at the bottom you can see some people walk out of the house and start madly gyrating, I'm not sure if thats the show its self, or just editing.

2:48: I feel like this fade-in for Botan takes a bit too long.

2:55: this whole shot in front of the moon appears to wiggle all over the place, again I'm not sure if thats the original show or not.


SFX

This entire episode didn't have any BGM at all, but it did have SFX which even more punctuates the lack of BGM as does the fact that you had ambiance in one scene but no others, which is something you dont want to do if you're going for the "no bgm aesthetic".

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08-16-2016, 12:16 AM (This post was last modified: 08-16-2016 12:18 AM by thedarkboco.)
Post: #19
Thumbs Down RE: Boco Badgers you 'Bout Being Better
(08-08-2016 12:49 PM)Haxlax Wrote:  



I made this about a year ago, but I would love some critiques!

Edit:Wait how do I get the video to embed??

To embed your video you have to make sure you use the proper video tags.
Code:
[video=youtube]URL of video[/video]

On the the critique!

Discalimer: I haven't watched Railgun but, I have seen both seasons of Index




TTL: ? (Infinity) Wow, two times in a row man

Writing

0:14: calling something out as exposition at this point is so over done that it just becomes annoying.

0:29: I'm really not a fan of just sticking in sound clips from other things, because it feels really lazy because the way i see it is like "Look! Remember this from that? Now its here and thats funny!"

1:39: Is this supost to be funny? Just calling someone a "Faggot" (repeatedly I might add) isn't funny, its just a word, just going "Oh I said a naughty word, ooh look at me mom! you cant stop me now!" has no merit to laugh.

1:46: Again referring to something as a "Plot point" is really annoying and takes people out of the viewing.

4:32: Again referring to ones self as a "character" is the same as what I've said about these fourth wall "jokes" before.

4:54: Again. Voice Clips. No.

5:01: I've talked about this in this thread before, but it bears repeating, The "X will totally happen, X wont happen. Oh no! X happened" is really lazy/over done at this point.

5:20: Again referring to fact that this is a video is not something you want to do, as if brings out the viewer out of the experience that you are trying to create.

Okay last thing. The Hitler/Kill all Jews jokes. No. These were all bad. I'm not saying Hitler jokes cant be done well, hell Monty Python had a fantastic sketch based around one back in 1970
Spoiler(Show)


. On the other hand Kill all Jews/Holocaust "jokes" should not be done period, its like 9/11 "jokes" its just something that should not be done.


Voice Acting

Misakas voice actor has a slight echoy tinge, she might want to look in to reducing the amount of open space that she records in, I'm not really an expert on recording acrostics, so you'd have to ask someone else in depth advice.

The voice actor for Saten need a pop filter or a psuedo-pop filter. I'm actually pretty sure she does as of now, since I haven't heard her have that problem in other stuff she voiced for.

In my opinion Uiharus VA should tone down the uh "anime-ness" of her voice, its so high that It makes her hard to understand at some points. (Also I'm sure if she took helium only dogs would be able to hear her.)

0:24 This grunt sounds more like a jump grunt than a trip grunt.

2:36: This line has a lot of background noise, you should look into using the "Noise Removal" tool audacity, for things like that.


Editing

It came to me half way through this that this isn't lip flapped, but instead you just ran the video and hopped it would match up, if you want your videos to look nice, you should really learn to lip flap, both Kaiser Neko and Prof Kranc have really good tutorials that helped me learn lip flapping.

1:00: A really small Quality of life thing that you can implement is making sure there isn't anything unnecessary text or other distracting things on screen, in this part you have two choices, either you can mask out the credits manually (Which is possible I know people who have done it) or you could just use bits from the textless or clean version of the opening

1:18: This line is slightly cut off at the end, you can kind of hear the line "clip" where there should have been more voice.

1:58: The timing between the line "Listen to this" and the music actually starting is too much, also the frames look a little jittery

2:36 just overlaying this line doesn't really flow well, it would have worked better if it cut away just a room or a dark place, to give more of a vibe.

2:52: The down time between The previous line and the "Do you ever say anything normal?!" line is way too much.

3:20: Again just over laying this audio with no video to go with it is very jarring.

4:36: Again, the timing between the end of the word "Bank" and the start of the explosion is extremely long.

5:01: I've said this before, but its a thing I strongly believe in, even though you didn't lip flap, if you learn to in the future its something to keep in mind. When you have characters whos mouths are covered try to find away to show them talking. even if its not their mouths possibly try showing movement under the cloth.

5:53 Her mouth is closed. She is talking.


SFX

A lot of your sound effects especially the foot steps are balanced extremely high, which causes them to be come a lot more noticeable, which is something you don't want.

Almost this entire episode is without BGM, but a few have BGM which makes it all the more obvious as well as the use of sound effects.

3:37: Why did you have BGM for 2 seconds, and then remove it? It makes the lack of BGM even more apparent

4:46: Is this guy supposted to be on the other end of the phone? At least edit the audio to indicate that, there are tutorials on youtube to get the correct effect.

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Princess Princess Abridged 2 - Writing

Und Shot - Recording
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08-18-2016, 09:40 PM (This post was last modified: 08-18-2016 09:41 PM by xtraveemon.)
Post: #20
RE: Boco Badgers you 'Bout Being Better
Please Review



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