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Boco Badgers you 'Bout Being Better
08-18-2016, 09:46 PM
Post: #21
RE: Boco Badgers you 'Bout Being Better



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09-12-2016, 01:14 AM (This post was last modified: 09-12-2016 01:15 AM by thedarkboco.)
Post: #22
RE: Boco Badgers you 'Bout Being Better
(08-08-2016 10:54 PM)DustySox Wrote:  



I suppose I'll have a whack at this critique thing.
Don't be gentle and thanks Smile

Alright time to go back to doing critiques from my short hiatus thanks to school/work starting again and writing something new of my own.


Disclaimer: I have not finished Death Note, I only saw 8 or so episodes (Please put away the pitch forks, you can burn me at the stake later)


TTL: ? (Infinity)

Writing

Okay lets talk about censors/Bleeps. They can be funny, again if done well, a whole lot of factors determine that though, timing of the bleep, the bleep sound effect and many others, but the way you've done is just boring to say the least, it isn't used for a joke so whats the point of writing a character to swear if your just going to block it out in post?

0:33: Alright, 4th wall breaking jokes are a dime a dozen now a-days since they are extremely easy to do but insanely hard to do well, if you have any doubt about your 4th wall joke landing, redo it. As for this joke I feel like you trying a bit too hard, which makes it less funny

0:42: I feel like you're trying to offend someone with this, the thing with "offensive" humor is that it looses its shock value when the audience is no longer offend by it. That said I am of the belief that anything can be made funny with the right writing, so keep trying and see what works and what doesn't.



Voice Acting

The voice actor for Ryuk should really invest in a new microphone, I'm no sound expert but the difference between his and lights microphone is made even obvious when you have them talk right after each other.

I'm noticing that alot of lines in general seem to be slurred, you need to be annoucating your lines more. Like I try to suggest to everyone that has this issue, Look into getting someone that is familiar with how lines should sound to help with voice directing.

1:45: This line here I feel like it was intended to be a shouted line. I understand that sometimes its hard/impossible to actually do shouting lines because of the environment that you are in, if you are in that situation, you should not write shouting lines for a character you voice.

3:22: In Ryuks line here you can clearly hear the sound of the mic being bumped or the sound of P-Poping, which can be fixed with the use of a pop filter

3:55: you've got an extra screaming rather loudly and peaking his mic like crazy, you probably should advise him to turn down the sensitivity of his mic and/or the gain on it.

5:11: Again We've got some P-Poping going on.





You did a rather good job on audio/video editing, good job!

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09-12-2016, 06:17 PM
Post: #23
RE: Boco Badgers you 'Bout Being Better
Thanks for the critique! I appreciate it very much Smile
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09-23-2016, 12:21 AM
Post: #24
Bug RE: Boco Badgers you 'Bout Being Better
(08-18-2016 09:40 PM)xtraveemon Wrote:  Please Review



Disclaimer: I have little to no experience with Digimon, other than the card game.

TTL: ? (Infinity)

Writing

0:18: Alright. Time visual story telling 101. Show don't tell, okay? Good. Class dismissed. But in all honesty just saying "My name is X and this y, z, aa, bb and cc" is the most lazy way of introducing a cast.

0:34: No. "Actual dub line" Jokes haven't been funny for 10 years.

1:06: Just saying "Shut-up Joe" doesn't make a joke, neither does repeating it.

1:23: Addressing it as a "Hyper marketable mascot" is way too on the nose

1:49: Alright, why does he know its name now? You have to establish its name on screen, you cant just introduce them with out telling the viewer.

Voice Acting

0:26: The mic that this guys uses is really bad quality also his lines are extremely loud compared to who was speaking before him.

0:37: Again low mic quality

1:26: Alright Vmon, I know Yaro has told you this before but, your mic is really echo-y and also you sound like you're whispering you lines, you've really got to project more.

Editing

0:23: Lip Flaps don't match.

0:26: And here we have the infamous "motor mouth". The way to fix this is rather simple, just make mouth animation frames longer than one frame. I generally try to for at least 3 frames.

0:34: This cut is really jumpy, also it completely cuts of the line that is being said.

0:37: Lip flaps don't match, also why are these other 2 characters mouth's open? If they aren't talking they should be closed.

0:46: Did you just use unedited footage from the show with leaving in the sound and the voice of the original? Thats a big NO-NO.

0:59: Alright now here you got these sweat bubbles constantly disappearing and reappearing. This is an easy fix just mask the mouth's from the sweat frames and overlay them on the one that doesn't have them.

1:00: Alright. A really big problem you've got throughout this video is that the characters tend have little to no space between lines and it sound really unnatural, generally the the rule of thumb is to have at least 3 frames between lines per character.

1:02: Lips don't match.

1:14: Again you have lines cutting each other off.

1:20: Who is talking here? How is he talking? Hes just falling across the screen.

1:25: Why are Tys lips moving here? He isn't talking.

1:29: Lips don't match.

1:33: And now the camera is gyrating all over the place. Also lips no match.

1:48: We've got line cutting again

1:49: Got line cutting again also lips don't match.

VFX

Alright before I even get started on the video, lets talk about your thumbnail, it doesn't even fit the resolution. To fix this for starters take a look at youtubes TN guide lines.
Now lets take and actual look at the design of the logo its self. Its painfully obvious that you just grabbed something from google image. What you should have done is find the logo in the actual episode, mask it so that you have it on a separate layer, export it in to your image editor have it as the top layer. The background should be a clean shot (no characters present) of where the episode takes place or a place that is important to the episode. On the layer below the logo you want the characters that are important to the episode, but you don't want to flood it too much, I try to keep it down to around 3 characters which you should also mask out of parts of the episode just like the logo, as for the actual logo if you want the words like "episode" or "Abridgeital" or even the numbers to match the digimon font your either gonna have to hire an artist (Or get one to do it for you) or do it the way I do, when I make my logos I build the characters I need from the pieces of the already existing logo, you usually only need a vertical line, a horizontal line and a curved line to make any character you need. It does take some practice however, I might make a video tutorial at some point for this, hopefully that explains it better. Also your actual text for the title of your show is too small.

0:00: As you might guess from the book I wrote above I am very big on nice logos. Just using the text tool and covering the screen with the title doesn't look nice. When you get a logo (Assuming you do) you could just overlay it over the original.


SFX

0:00: Whats the point of this audio blurb? It doesn't communicate anything, its just a mess of sound.

1:09: You've got a blast of white noise around for a fraction of a second.

Other

Alright for your titling scheme I would recommend fully writing out the word episode, it just looks more professional and less corner cutty, like if you're cutting corners in typing the word episode how many corners did you cut in the actual video?

TOT 1:53
Alright I really can't take any more of this, I know Sprite gave you a really really harsh review when you first posted this and to be honest I thought he might have been a bit a harsh (I didn't watch it at the time) but now I'll say you deserved most of it (I don't remember rightly what he said so I'll stick with most not all) that said, I know you've been trying to improve which is good, but you've got a long way to go. Good Luck.

Mic: Audio-Technica AT2035 l Twitter l Youtube l Wiki Page

Princess Princess Abridged 2 - Writing

Und Shot - Recording
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09-24-2016, 06:52 PM
Post: #25
RE: Boco Badgers you 'Bout Being Better
Alright, I'll lube up my butt so that it doesn't get too hurt after this.




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09-25-2016, 02:29 PM
Post: #26
RE: Boco Badgers you 'Bout Being Better




Fresh today, do your worst.

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10-13-2016, 09:21 PM
Post: #27
RE: Boco Badgers you 'Bout Being Better
(08-18-2016 09:46 PM)Tokk Wrote:  


Disclaimer: I have not seen Fate/Zero, I have only seen the original Fate/Stay Night.

TTL: ? (Infinity)

Its not that it was unfunny per se, but that there weren't that many things I would consider "jokes", it feels more like what I imagine a comedic fan dub would feel, of course that could always be me being unpleasable.

Writing

1:54: Is the point of this joke that you put VATS in a video? While that edit is impressive, its not really funny.

Voice Acting

1:17: the way the line "and your not exactly that Saber" is delivered is a bit too fast, the first time I heard it I couldn't pick up what she was saying at the end of the sentence, this is why you should invest in some ","s.

1:39: Really not into giving a child a really deep voice, trust me, it can work but I feel like your going at it a bit too hard here.

1:40: I cant really understand what Kiritsugu is saying here, all can make out is "God damn why ....... fucking harder than it needs to be"

1:48: Again the line starts to become mumble as soon as it tries to go fast.

3:35 This line here "Go assassinate..." sounds really forced and not really "real"

Editing

0:08-0:035 I'm not sure what it is with this scene, but I feel like a lot of the flaps in it don't really match

3:45: Its pretty clear that you don't have any mouth shots to work with here (or didn't want to work with) when your in that situation you should try to cut down on the length of the scene so the same shots don't get reused so much.

VFX

2:45: you've got some pretty bad masking on these eyes here, its pretty obvious you used the magic wand tool in photoshop, my recommendation, use the masking tool in your editor and do it by hand.

4:49: Again you've got some pretty poor masking here, I'll cut you some slack though, it is a post-end scene after all

SFX

I didn't notice any issues with the SFX, good job!

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Princess Princess Abridged 2 - Writing

Und Shot - Recording
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11-13-2016, 12:35 AM
Post: #28
Question RE: Boco Badgers you 'Bout Being Better
(09-24-2016 06:52 PM)DoktorApplejuce Wrote:  Alright, I'll lube up my butt so that it doesn't get too hurt after this.




Disclaimer: As stated in the previous review review, I have only seen the original F/SN.

TTL: 10:12 (Thanks for breaking the infinity streak by the way)
Type: Vocal Laugh "Shot of archer holding a manual originating from Sweden, featuring Sabaton, the human centipede and Paradox games."
I'm not sure what about this visual edit got me, Maybe I'm just a sucker visual jokes or it was just seeing one of my favorite bands in a place where I generally don't expect to see them.

Writing
0:01 - I'm not really a fan of the "Character refuses to read the disclaimer" joke that lots of people have started doing lately, it feels a bit forced, also the lines that the VA are delivering don't "feel" like they're all the way there .

0:30 - I really really hate the "I'm immature and that's all I Do" character especially since that humor is really hard to do well and its wears thin rather quick, this would fine if it was a one off character but its the main character, I really hope you've got some plans to write his character so he evolves past this.

1:02 - I am primarily against doing straight references to other media or material, you would think with something as widely popular as that harry potter franchise would be more likely to hit home, but the thing is, if the receiver is unfamiliar with what you are referencing you are hitting open air. (If you cant tell, I am not familiar with harry potter at all) it would have be fine if had left it at "its like harry potter" and moved on, but carrying on with makes it worse.

2:56 - Here we see the tired "Pedophillic Priest" trope that has been done to Pluto and back, three times. Hell it even has a TV tropes page . If you're trying to make him creepy which I can see a lot of people trying to do since (spoiler he is a bad man) if you are trying to that you gotta think of a more creative way other than having him come on to people

3:37 - Again, doing the Like *other media* is probably one of the laziest ways to describe something, even if that's part of Shirous character, that's a bad way to write a character.

5:55 - *sigh* Again. Just mentioning something or in this case putting something there just to put it there serves no purpose, and calling it out as unnecessary just makes it worse.

6:02 - I'm not a fan just referring to something as an episode, its one of the lowest effort fourth wall breaks you can do.

6:24 - Again just calling out something as obligatory or the like is the cheapest way to critique a show.

6:29 - I gotta say having her lines in her native language (Russian I believe) is quite and interesting idea, but could wear thin fast.

6:39 - At this point I think I've realized what Archers character is, a drunk who breaks the fourth wall, again, this can be done well, but all the ways he has done it has been waaay too on the nose and lazy.

11:58 - I actively booed at this line, that's something I haven't done for awhile.

12:34 - I'm running out of ways to say stating that this is an anime isn't funny

Voice Acting

3:43 - These lines are delivered a bit stiff

6:18 - Like said before, doing the native language is cool, but the VA sounds like shes tripping over her line words a bit, when she speaks, but I'm not a speaker of it so what do I know?

7:06 - The line here "That things about to attack" is delivered really weirdly, almost like shes happy about it

I feel like Sabers mic be a bit lower quality, It sounds like lower bits of sound of her voice are missing.

Editing

0:44 - This transition to the OP through Rins eye is really cool, I dig it.

1:02 - I wanna say these flaps on Shirou are custom, you can tell because the inside of his mouth is all one color that is a bit too light, you might want to try doing 2 or 3 color shading.

5:55 I may be condemning this joke, but the way it was edited was very high quality.

VFX

0:43 - This is a fantastic visual edit, If I didn't know better it could be passed off as part of the original show.

6:29 - You forgot the space between "my" and "Name"

SFX

A lot of the SFXs were pretty good, but some of them also feel like they lack a lot of the weight they should be carrying.

Other

Before I even started watching the video I noticed the title was calling out Sony Music, I understand that they are frustrating, but calling it out in a title is a little juvenile, don't you think?

Your pacing is pretty good, I don't think I would have felt the length of the video as much if I wasn't pausing every few seconds to write notes, you might wanna cut down on the length of the fight scenes though.

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11-14-2016, 05:47 PM
Post: #29
RE: Boco Badgers you 'Bout Being Better
BLOODILY BADGER THIS BARELY BAREABLE BEREAVEMENT OF BASIC BULLSHIT

...y'know, critique it and stuff.




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11-15-2016, 05:08 AM
Post: #30
RE: Boco Badgers you 'Bout Being Better
(09-25-2016 02:29 PM)Uraby210 Wrote:  



Fresh today, do your worst.

(11-14-2016 05:47 PM)eagle8burger Wrote:  BLOODILY BADGER THIS BARELY BAREABLE BEREAVEMENT OF BASIC BULLSHIT

...y'know, critique it and stuff.




THIS MEANS WAR

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11-15-2016, 11:25 AM
Post: #31
RE: Boco Badgers you 'Bout Being Better
eagle wins

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11-15-2016, 09:55 PM
Post: #32
RE: Boco Badgers you 'Bout Being Better
(11-15-2016 05:08 AM)Uraby210 Wrote:  THIS MEANS WAR

It's not even a contest. Eags wins.

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11-15-2016, 09:56 PM
Post: #33
RE: Boco Badgers you 'Bout Being Better
yeah eagle wins

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11-15-2016, 11:28 PM
Post: #34
RE: Boco Badgers you 'Bout Being Better
Eagle8Burger wins.

You are what you put your time into.

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11-17-2016, 04:31 AM (This post was last modified: 11-17-2016 04:32 AM by Uraby210.)
Post: #35
RE: Boco Badgers you 'Bout Being Better
You're all just jealous. My ego is far too inflated for you to puncture it.

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11-17-2016, 12:15 PM
Post: #36
RE: Boco Badgers you 'Bout Being Better
I wish to throw my sandwich into the ring as well.
(Fair warning, contains offensive content and is parodying the most graphically intense episode of GITS)




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03-20-2017, 11:24 AM
Post: #37
RE: Boco Badgers you 'Bout Being Better
Your role wasn't major here. If you would, I'd love to hear your crit.




You are what you put your time into.

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