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Haruhi Abridged
04-08-2012, 09:30 PM
Post: #1
Haruhi Abridged
Well...hello. I'm new to the abridging scene. I go by MisterKafuka (or preferably Kafuka). I started a Haruhi abridged series just recently (this is my first attempt at an abridging though I been a fan for a while). So I'm going to post it here. Confused

I'm wondering what should I work on for next time (timing, jokes, etc.) Some feedback would be nice. Thank you.



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04-09-2012, 02:30 AM (This post was last modified: 04-09-2012 02:31 AM by OoziHobo.)
Post: #2
RE: Haruhi Abridged
I'm new to the scene, too. So, I know how excited it is to have someone like/critique your work, so allow to try and repay some of the kindness people have shown me here on the forums.

As far as scripting goes, there really wasn't a lot to the script in either episode. Both were relatively short in duration, and once you take away all the dead space and introduction scenes you really don't have much left but a few interactions between characters and a lot of fourth wall breaking. The interactions themselves didn't have a whole lot of point to them and were really predictable. if I can predict what a character is going to say, odds are... I'm not going to laugh at it unless the delivery/setup was just that good.

Now for a personal opinion, don't make out of character jokes.

Editing and voice acting are very important parts of abridging. Kyon's voice was painfully dull, and had a lot of noise compared to the others, and every time he spoke I could literally hear the mouse clicks at the start and finish. That's gotta go. Other than that, lip flaps. I don't really mind when someone doesn't sync lip movement to words, but you have to at least have the mouth move when someone is talking, and not move when they aren't. That's not a lot to ask for, and there are some great tutorials on this site that can help you with all of this stuff.

This may seem like I'm being kind of harsh, but I wouldn't have taken the time to write all this out if I wanted it to just be taken negatively. So, best of luck and I hope you improve!

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[+] 1 user Likes OoziHobo's post
04-09-2012, 06:39 AM
Post: #3
RE: Haruhi Abridged
Thank you for your feedback. To be honest, comedic timing slips my mind and joke writing is difficult ; I never paid attention to those things before. I guess I should now. Voice acting...I think that make be my biggest difficulty. I thought my own voice would suffice and I did notice that it didn't quite fit. I heard copying voices I hear would be good for voice acting practice but I'm not sure. But thank you for your criticism.

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04-09-2012, 07:06 AM
Post: #4
RE: Haruhi Abridged
just out of curiousity, what video editing software r u using?

and yeah, I know how hard it is when your VA isn't really good too xD
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04-09-2012, 07:12 AM
Post: #5
RE: Haruhi Abridged
I use Sony Vegas. Yeah, it was too dry. Funny thing was I was despising over my voice whilst recording. I was attempting to do a House impression but I just switched to regular monotone.

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04-09-2012, 09:57 AM
Post: #6
RE: Haruhi Abridged
I watched these.

Feedback:

I think it'd help if you asked yourself two questions:

Who are these characters?

Why are they doing what they're doing?

Neither are clear, and because neither are clear, the videos in my opinion, don't work. If you don't have characters that one can say something about, and we have no idea what their motivation for doing anything is, how can you expect your audience to really care?

Quote:To be honest, comedic timing slips my mind and joke writing is difficult

Both are easier if you understand your characters.

Understand the characters and work from there.

Regards,

Chrome.
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04-09-2012, 10:06 AM
Post: #7
RE: Haruhi Abridged
I suppose watching the series again and relearning the characters would be the place to start. Connecting to the characters also. Thank you everyone for the feedback.

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04-14-2012, 10:24 AM
Post: #8
RE: Haruhi Abridged
Well both episodes got removed so now I can't watch them Sad

Thanks for all the good times.
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04-14-2012, 11:19 AM
Post: #9
RE: Haruhi Abridged
Why'd you remove them, bro?

"Your stuff is pretty good, but it's no TeamFourStar. Be more like them!"- My supportive roommate.

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04-14-2012, 12:35 PM
Post: #10
RE: Haruhi Abridged
Had to. Voice actor issues. Haruhi VA has very conservative parents. Anyway, I've decided to make a dramatic abridged series out of Haruhi and do Oreimo as a comedy side project.

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04-14-2012, 12:37 PM
Post: #11
RE: Haruhi Abridged
So you're gonna do a fandub of Haruhi and potentially do something funny with the show about incest?

Alright. You've got my attention.

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04-14-2012, 12:45 PM
Post: #12
RE: Haruhi Abridged
Pretty much except its my own interpretation of the plot so it's my own scripting. I hear sarcasm though...Huh

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04-14-2012, 01:00 PM
Post: #13
RE: Haruhi Abridged
So... this series no longer exists then?
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04-14-2012, 03:08 PM
Post: #14
RE: Haruhi Abridged
It no longer exists.

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04-14-2012, 03:25 PM
Post: #15
RE: Haruhi Abridged
Well that was short.

Thanks for all the good times.
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04-14-2012, 03:51 PM
Post: #16
RE: Haruhi Abridged
Locking the thread then.

Kafuka, when you get on your feet with your new stuff, hit us up again. 'Til then.

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