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MrSkoringo's Critique Emporium
04-25-2012, 12:26 PM (This post was last modified: 03-28-2016 09:10 AM by MrSkoringo.)
Post: #1
MrSkoringo's Critique Emporium
I love abridged series of all different shapes and sizes. There are also ones I am not to big on. But what I love more is seeing people improve as well as helping them to improve. And that's just what I plan on doing in this thread. So if you'd like some help in improving your abridged series or just want my opinion on your parodies, post em here and I shall write a critique for it.

How My Critiques Work

Background:
I first offer some background on original series itself. This helps one understand my understanding of the show you are abridging.
I will also give background of your abridged series itself in which to show that I have watched or seen previous episodes of your series in which to see if you have improved from previous episode. This would not apply to one shots but still, it helps if I have watched your past episodes to know what I liked / didn't like previously and how you've improved since then with your posted episode.


Writing:
Here I will give you my opinions on your writing as whole. Wither it appears your project made sense, then jokes within it, humor type, structure, pacing, etc. Because as we know, writing is a major part of abridged series.

Voice Acting:
In this section of my critiques, I work to help find what I like / dislike about the voice acting. Factors such as line delivery, acting overall, range, mic quality etc. will all be taken note here.

Editing & Mixing:
It maybe true that damn near everyone and their mother in abridging knows how to properly edit an abridged series. But there is still room to help improve on things within the field of video editing an abridging / parody. Things will be noted such as lip flaps, side gags, visual's and such.
I will also be critiquing one on their mixing of audio and sound effects as it will help make your series more entertaining and such. Things such as mic levels, voice effects (echoes when needed, general voice effects, etc) will be touched upon here.

Overall:
Within this concluding part of my critiques I will give a generalization of what I thought of the project as a whole in my oppinion.

Scores:
I rate your projects ion a scale of 1-5. I find it best as it helps give a wide enough range without me having to make the scoring to big. This is how it would work:
1- You've got quite a ways to go but don't give up. You can do it.
2- Not to shabby. You've still got some improvement to do but just keep plugging and improving and you will get better.
3- Decent / Average. Some errors here and there and small things to take note of for future episodes, but good overall.
4- Nice job! A few minor things, not quite perfect but damn good overall.
5- You nailed it! No complaints and if there are any, they are super minor.

And Much Like Airrest's thread, I also offer a Pros / Cons section similar to it. Think of it as a cliff notes version of my critique for better understanding. It will work like this:

Pros:
?I'll list the good things I enjoyed about your video. I promise to find at least one.


Cons:
?Here I'll let you know some things that I think could be improved upon and maybe how to do so. I'll also may let you know why I didn't think something worked.


Think of my way of critiquing as a cross between G4TV's X-Play and Judgment Day.

I look only to help improve / critique your abridged / parody works so I can help you become better and incourage you to keep going.

So with that said, post your stuff here and I will give critiques when I have the time too. Smile

Scores Given Thus Far:
Spoiler(Show)
Abridged + Vampire Episode 3: 2 out of 5
Not Another Abridged Series Episode 3: 2 1/2 out of 5
Dee.Gray Man Abridged Episode 2: 1 1/2 out of 5
Space Ghost Abridged Episode 2: 2 1/2 out of 5
Section10's GITSA Episode 4: 4 out of 5
Inuyasha WTF AbridgeMENT Episode 3: 4 1/2 out of 5
Baccano! Teh Abridged Series Episode 9: 3 1/2 out of 5
B-Graded Abridged Pilot - Pilot: 2 1/2 out of 5
Naruto Shippuden Abridged Episode 2: 3 out of 5
Not Another Abridged Series Episode 4: 2 1/2 out of 5
Soul Eater Abridged Episode 1: 1 out of 5
Abridging In A Deadman Wonderland Episode 1: 3 1/2 out of 5
DEEsidia Shorts (Happy B-Day Yaro): 1 1/2 out of 5
Strike Witches Abridged Episode 2: 4 1/2 out of 5
Inuyasha WTF AbridgeMENT 6: 3 out of 5
One Piece Abridged Episode 23: 3 1/2 out of 5
Bleached An Abridgement Episode 8: 1 out of 5
Electric Anime Batman Episode 3: 3 out of 5
Not Another Abridged Series Episode 6: 2 1/2 out of 5
Air Abridged Episode 1 Re-Edit: 3 1/2 out of 5
Guilty Crown Abridged Episode 2: 2 1/2 out of 5
FMAA Parody Episode 2: 4 out of 5
Air Abridged Episode 1-4: 3 out of 5
Desert Punk Abridged Episode 1: 2 out of 5
DSA's Dragonball Z Abridged Episode 1:1 out of 5
Not Another Abridged Series Episode 7: 1 1/2 out of 5
(Extremely late)JORMUNGAND WAN-SHAUGHT: 1 out of 5
Spectacular Spider-Man Abridged Episode 1: 1 out of 5
Inuyasha WTF AbridgeMENT Episode 7: 4 out of 5
Fairy Tail Abridgement Episodes 1 & 2: 2 1/2 out of 5
Code : MENT - One Shot: 1 out of 5
Angel Tales Abridged: Unforgettable Bondage: 2 out of 5
Section10's GITSA Episode 5: 4 out of 5
Chihayafuru Abridged - Episode 2: 1 out of 5
One Piece Arrrbridged Episode 1: 2 out of 5
Black Butler: Abridged Super Series -- Episode 1: 2 out of 5
Blue Gender BETTER Abridged Episodes 1-3: 3 out of 5
Monogatari Abridged Episode 1: 3 out of 5
Blazblue Abridged -- Episode 1: 1 1/2 out of 5
Sket Dance Abridged Ep One-Shot: 1 out of 5
Blazblue: Another Memory 2- Sassy Ragna [BB: Alter Memory Parody]: 1 out of 5
X-men Abruged Episode 1: 2 out of 5
ISAbridged episode 1: 1 out of 5
Blazblue: Another Memory 3 - Weird Friendship [BB: Alter Memory Parody]: 1 1/2 out of 5
Tokyo RaveMENT Episode 1: 4 out of 5
Aquaman: The Unabridged Parody Series Episode 1: 2 out of 5
M'Ourans (Ouran High School Host Club Abridged One Shot): 3 out of 5
Darker than Black - Hyperabridged 5.0: 4 out of 5
Burst Angel Abridged Episode 2: 3 out of 5
KHR Abridged Parody Episode 14: 2 1/2 out of 5
The Devil is in a MENT- Episode 2: 4 1/2 out of 5
Texhnolyze Abridged Episode 1: 1 1/12 out of 5
Negro Lagoon: 4 1/2 out of 5
Durarara!! Abridged Episode 3: 2 out of 5
Problem Children Abridged Episode 2: 2 1/2 out of 5
Little Busters Parody Series Episode 1: 1 out of 5
Cho-bridged Episode 1: 3 out of 5
Flag 2.0 - I'm Your Daughter Melsie: 1 out of 5
Eureka Seven Satire was not a one-shot at first. Might abridge again: 3 1/2 out of 5
Pokemon Origins Abridged Episode 2: 1 1/2 out of 5
X-men Aburdged Episode 3: 2 out of 5
Negro Lagoon 2: 2 out of 5
Ouran Abridged Episode 1: 1 out of 5
Moeocalypse Episode 1: 3 out of 5
The Hobbitch: 3 1/2 out of 5
Hunter X Dumber Episode 2: 3 1/2 out of 5
MM NT Warrior Abridged Episode 9: 2 out of 5
M M Starforce Abridged Episode 4: 2 out of 5
Black Butler Abridged - OVA #1 "Where's Bassy": 2 out of 5
Akame ga Kill! Crack/Abridged: One Shot: 1 out of 5
Date A Live Abridged Episode 5: 1 1/2 out of 5
Yuri Yaoi Episode 1: 1 out of 5
Cardfaptor Sakura Duel 1 & Duel 2: 3 out of 5
PPGZA Ep 4: 2 out of 5
Inuyasha WTF AbridgeMENT Episode 8: 4 1/2 out of 5
Ninja Robots is shit: 3 out of 5
One Voice- Kill la Kill Abridged Episode 1: 1 1/2 out of 5
Abridged: Tokyo Ghoul Episode 1: 1 out of 5
HA X HA #1: 4 out of 5
School Days Abridged Episode 1: 1 1/2 out of 5
Soul Nommers The One Shot: 1 out of 5
Sailor Moon Crystal Abridged Episode 2: 3 out of 5
Saint Young MENT Episode 1: 1 out of 5
Psychic Squad The Unlimited Abridged Episode 1: 1 out of 5
Batman! Son of Him! Batson!: 3 1/2 out of 5
HA X HA #2: 4 out of 5
Code Geass: Abridging The Rebellion Episode 1: 2 out of 5
Death Note TAS Episode 11: 2 1/2 out of 5
Death Note TAS Episode 12: 2 1/2 out of 5
Full Metal A**hole: 3 out of 5
Sailor Moon Crystal Abridged Episode 3: 4 out of 5
Fairy Tail Abridged It's JellALL Over Now: 3 1/2 out of 5
Fate / Stay Night Unlimited Blade Works Abridged Episode 4: 2 1/2 out of 5
Baccano! Abridged One Shot: 1 out of 5
Chaos ; Head Abridged Episode 5: 1 out of 5
Naruto Abridged Episode 3: 3 out of 5

Updated Rules!
[4/25/12]- I will also in the score section give out 1/2 scores so it will go in this order- 1, 1 1/2, 2, 2 1/2, 3, 3 1/2, etc. It pretty much is a way of saying your on the perspective score but are also close to progressing to the next score as well.

[5/8/14]- There will no longer be a "Background" section to my reviews. I just feel it detracts away from the reviews at hand and I honestly feel like I could cover that section up in about 1 or 2 sentences in the beginning parts of the "Writing" section. I also feel this will help me put reviews out much faster.

[2/27/16]- Getting rid of the pros / cons area since it's pretty much an arbitrary cliff notes for what to do... Even though those notes are usually covered in the "Overall" section.

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04-25-2012, 01:10 PM
Post: #2
RE: MrSkoringo's Critique Emporium
Tell me you official opinion


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04-26-2012, 06:00 AM
Post: #3
RE: MrSkoringo's Critique Emporium

hope to use your voice as my series progress :3
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04-27-2012, 10:21 AM (This post was last modified: 04-30-2012 06:49 PM by MrSkoringo.)
Post: #4
RE: MrSkoringo's Critique Emporium
Abridged + Vampire Episode 3 by Yaro Shien Review






Background:
Now, if it isn't obvious enough already, it can be said that I am a man who loves a good harem anime from time to time. And Rosario + Vampire is no exception to this rule. I have been watching it most recently and have to admit it is a really good harem with much enjoyment. I love the setting and characters and the action and fan service is always a plus. I am considering getting the DVDs at some point.

As for your series, I first heard about it after my pals Runawayturist and XvXBL0ODXvX liked your episode 1 and then found it here on the AbridgedForums. I overall thought it was allright and it showed potential. Episode 2 was fine but was more of the same just slightly better. And that brings us to Episode 3. With that said, get on the bus with Mr. DRIVER! and set corse for my critique on Abridged + Vampire Episode 3: OMG Pedo Bear.

Writing:
When it comes to writing in this series, its kinda weird to me. It has moments of good and bad both. Good with some of the weird jokes and character portraits but bad with the reference humor and weird jokes. Now I maybe a man who has had a history of utilizing reference humor in his works (See Girls Bravo Abridged), but I have been trying to avoid it. Which brings me to the point. Avoid reference humor. And if you really wanna include some, try not to do too much of it and make the humor either subtle or in very small doses (3-5 is fine in my opinion). I know it seems harder to do original humor nowadays, but believe me. It's worth it. As for the "weird jokes", I more or less mean the exchanges between the characters. It doesn't sound like people talking in real life at times and the structure seems off. Now one thing I do like is your characters. My favorite it Kirumu. So if anything, you have your characters and their personality traits, you just need to give them better and more organized dialogue that apllies to their traits they have. As for pacing, it seems to move a tad slow. And sometimes can be fandubish with the situations in the anime given. Cause you are dealing with a harem anime which is verry hard to abridge.

Voice Acting:
In this series, the voice acting is a real bag of mixed nuts. When I say that, I don't mean everyone is insane in their own ways (even though I could be wrong Tongue), I more mean there is a combo of both good and bad voice actors. Let me state who I like in terms of voice actors: Kirumu, Hotter Moka, Batman, two of the bullies. The other characters seem to either hold back a bit or go to over the top to the point of breaking character. So just keep an eye on that. As for the delivery on lines, some lines are delivered well (Tskune maybe over the top most of the time but is pretty good with delivery) and some could've been delivered better. Hell if lines are delivered properly, you can get a chuckle or two just off the inflection and delivery alone. One series that's a poster child for good delivery I found is Gurren Lagann Abridged by gdechert007. I love the series because of the line delivery as well as some of the humor. I mean hearing Greg scream at the top of his lungs "AAAAAALLL MYYYY RAAAAAAGE!" after getting hit on by Leeron with the delivery is just hilarious. As I said even bad jokes and basic dialogue if delivered properly can result in a chuckle here and there and such. I think it would be good if you were to perhaps tell your actors how you want the lines to be delivered weither it be on the script or to them directly. Then you would have awesome acting and overall line delivery.

Editing and Mixing:
This part is the series real downfall. Now as much as I can get past it, there are no put in lip flaps. It just seems like running footage repeated in which to make non-matching lip flaps. On top of that, the source footage used (and this just could be from my end) seems to have a bit of an error in it. If you check the bottom of the screen before the black bars, it kinda looks like it was off a VHS tape. I'm not sure where you got the footage but my suggestion that if it isn't from the DVDs, try getting them. I know Funimation has distributed DVDs of this series so it shouldn't be to much of a problem getting them. And if this is from the DVDs, maybe try a different converter and ripper. Now onto other editing things. At about 2:03, you had a PurpleEyes style musical repeating footage joke. It was a good try but with all the effects chosen it could've been better to either pick more rave / dubstep style effects or no effects at all. As for the mixing, this is also in need of some major improvement. Many of the mics are disproportional and often times peak. You can't quite have that either. I also noticed a lack of sound effects and voice effects in some areas. To fix that, look at the situation given and decide if an effect is needed. So try cleaning up the audio and make it proportionate.

Overall:
Abridged + Vampire Episode 3 shows potential but needs some help in both the editing and a tad assistance in the writting. But dose have some good jokes and some pretty good va work. Overall, worth the watch and it will hopefully improve.

Abridged + Vampire Episode 3 gets a: 2 out of 5

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04-27-2012, 02:55 PM
Post: #5
RE: MrSkoringo's Critique Emporium
(04-27-2012 10:21 AM)MrSkoringo Wrote:  Let me state who I like in terms of voice actors: Kirumu, Hotter Moka, Batman, two of the bullies. The other characters seem to either hold back a bit or go to over the top to the point of breaking character.

Just thought I would state that I voiced Yukari Sendo in this episode Psychotic Grin

Anywhore, here's my second episode. I have improved, but I have no proof yet. But I want more pointers on how I should become better anyway



I keep watching over this episode to remember how bad I used to be, but my Episode 1 redo will be better Tongue

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04-29-2012, 12:57 PM (This post was last modified: 06-17-2012 11:09 AM by MrSkoringo.)
Post: #6
RE: MrSkoringo's Critique Emporium
Not Another Abridged Series Episode 3 by ssdrwho Review





Background:
When it comes to the anime your series is based off of, I have watched all of the Another anime. And I must say it is one I really enjoy. I love the darkness and Final Destination style it takes with all the creative deaths. On top of that, I enjoy the characters and how episode kept me wanting more.

Now as for your abridged series, I first heard about it shortly after Aussie Jordan released his one shot of the same anime and then saw it here on the forums. Though I will admit that the first episode had many issues, I could tell it had some potential. And I only saw a little bit of Episode 2. Which brings us to this episode. With that, don your Misaki Mei eye-patch and hope you don't die. Here's my review of Not Another Abridged Series Episode 3 by ssdrwho.

Writing:
Now I'm not exactly sure how to feel about the writing of this series. It has moments of both good and bad. Good in the terms of the jokes like the teacher's reaction to the girl getting impaled by the umbrella was fantastic. (I love me some dark comedy on occasion). But there are also moments of weak jokes (the whole concept of abridging in the school is kinda lame and the whole idea of Koichi being Tristian which all get into later) or no jokes at all. I feel the series is in a right direction with what it wants to be it just needs more of the better jokes and less lame jokes and better pacing

Voice Acting:
This is my biggest complaint with this series. I mean don't get me wrong. Sydsnap and Mattroks and other cameos you have had are awesome. The rest is just either sub par or bad voicing. Some are alright. But my two biggest Koichi and Misaki. Why? Well lets start with Koichi. From what I can gather, your doing a Tristian Taylor from Yu-Gi-Oh! Abridged....



I'm sorry if I'm coming off as rude or mean with this it's just something that annoys me. Making him based on another (Lulz for teh pun) abridged series character is a no no. So I would honestly scrap the idea of him being Tristan. You can still make him stupid and derpy. Just scrap the idea of him making him Tristan. As for Misaki's voice, it honestly is just annoying. Its a bit obnoxious loud and whiny. So maybe help the VA with that. I also noticed that many actors have echoey mics and mic puffs and background buzzing and other little things in terms of microphones. So try and fix it up.

Editing and Mixing:
I love the editing in this series. All the lip flaps are spot on and the bit of visual humor in their is just awesome. Like that scene of what Glasses 1 saw before she died was pretty bad ass. It's truly the editing that saves this series. Now in terms of mixing, I have no big objections. Just if anything for it, perhaps add some background music (BGM) at certain areas of the it would highly improve your pacing and would make each scene move more effectively and may. So take note of that. Also some mics seem to overpower each other at times. Try to mix those a bit better to make them proportionate to each other for best quality.

Overall:
This series has an idea of what it wants to be and it's overall in the right direction, but it just needs some help. Help in terms of the voice acting from the main cast (Mostly Koichi and maybe a little bit Misaki), with more good jokes (because there are some good ones in this) and less of the bad jokes. Don't be afraid of being silly with your stuff. And in terms of editing, nothing big. Just like I said, mind your mixing and maybe add some BGM to some scenes to help em move better and faster. Also work on the pacing. What I have noticed is a big improvement from your Episode 1 as well as your episode 2. All in all, just keep going and you'll get the real hang of it.

On another note,
(04-26-2012 06:00 AM)ssdrwh0 Wrote:  hope to use your voice as my series progress :3
Name the time, place, character, and voice type. Smile

Not Another Abridged Series Episode 3 gets a: 2 1/2 out of 5

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04-29-2012, 08:25 PM
Post: #7
RE: MrSkoringo's Critique Emporium
Some mic pops are my bad, I didn't realize till I watched the episode my mic was popping. No idea why it was.

Thanks for all the good times.
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04-30-2012, 06:46 PM (This post was last modified: 05-07-2012 10:33 AM by MrSkoringo.)
Post: #8
RE: MrSkoringo's Critique Emporium
Dee.Gray-Man Episode 2 by DEEsidia97 Review





Background:
I've always liked both the manga and anime of D-Gray-Man. I love it's Tim Burton spookiness feel it has. The story and action is always bad ass too. And the animation and characters are awesome. Alan Walker is by far one of my favorite anime protagonists. I actually own a copy of D-Gray-Man Season 1 Part 1 on Blu-Ray and have read a good chunk of the manga.

When it comes to your series however, I have only seen this one and the 1st one. So: Get your Akuma sensing eyes open and ready your mugens. Here's my critique of Dee.Gray Man Abridged Episode 2: Blazblue VS Guilty Gear by DEEsidia97.

Writing:
This is probably your series weakest point of your series. I feel that first off there isn't much structure and organization when it comes to the dialogue the characters have amongst themselves. It just seems like random line after random line. No real conversations or anything like that. Nothing connects all that often. At least in the first minute or two. And there is WAAAAAYYYY to many reference jokes to BlazBlue & Guilty Gear and in general in this. In fact you may wanna cut down on reference humor all together. With that said, you do have some allright jokes. They just needed better delivery which I will get into later in the voice acting section. Also pacing is often times to quick or to slow so mind that.

Voice Acting:
Your voice acting has quite the ying yang effect going on. With some good and some bad to it. Lets start off with the good. The good elements is that you definitely have the range and many voices do have differentiation. For one dude at your age to be doing the voicing the whole cast, not to bad. Now for the bad. You seem to hold back allot with your voice acting. Many of the lines were not delivered that well at all. On top of that, you may wanna work on your annunciation in your work as well as the delivery. Perhaps get others involved with VA work. On top of that, you need a new mic. For the first couple minutes of the episode, I could not make a damn thing out. Maybe the occasional word or two but not that much. Very inaudible. So try and correct that.

Editing and Mixing:
Now the editing dose have quite a few hiccups I noticed. And some areas went without good lip flaps. However your visual editing and gags here and there are pretty good and well edited. Now as for the mixing, that dose need some work. Now your inclusion of BGM (background music) is fine. But there are two things. There are areas where the audio of the sfx were overpowering and loud. So mind that as well. So just keep practicing and you'll get that down.

Overall:
This series may have many flaws but it still shows a good amount of potential. Like I said, the vocal range you display shows you can be a better voice actor. You just need help with your delivery and overall acting in general. Maybe also including some others in the mix for voice actors and actresses. The writing had some potential jokes which I feel could have been written far better and delivered better as well. As well as a few reference jokes that were unneeded. And the editing, for the few glitches and hiccups wasn't to bad. Overall, it has potential and you got a ways to go as an abridger. Keep plugging and you'll get better!

Dee.Gray Man Abridged Episode 2 gets a: 1 1/2 out of 5

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04-30-2012, 07:26 PM
Post: #9
RE: MrSkoringo's Critique Emporium
Thought I already posted here, but I guess I missed this one.


Since I am scripting the upcoming episodes, I thought some feedback on my last episode would be good. I am going through everyone's suggestions

"Your stuff is pretty good, but it's no TeamFourStar. Be more like them!"- My supportive roommate.

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05-04-2012, 12:16 AM (This post was last modified: 05-11-2012 01:23 AM by MrSkoringo.)
Post: #10
RE: MrSkoringo's Critique Emporium
Space Ghost Abridged Episode 2 by TheHawk Review





Background:
It maybe true that I am a humongous fan of anime, I do enjoy a good western animated show every once in a while. And when I'm not watching what anime japan has to offer, I often times will go to my TV and see what animated series in my region has to offer. However, when it comes to Space Ghost, the only real show I have watched on it was the more well known Space Ghost: Coast to Coast. I always thought it was a hilarious show and an interesting concept. As for the original Space Ghost, I haven't seen all that much of it (mostly bits and pieces) so I really cant place my opinion on that account.

As for your abridged series, I first heard about it here on the forums. I only saw a bit of episode 1 and thought it was quite meh. Has Episode 2 improved since then? Lets find out.

Writing:
I'm not gonna lie. The writing in this isn't to bad. Some of the jokes were pretty good. And this shows good potential with the comedy. Nothing lol ensuing but not bad. I chuckled a bit. Though I will say that this was only for the first half of the video. After the first half, the witting started to deteriorate and get to the levels of meh. I went from thinking this was kind of funny and chuckle worthy to just meh. There was also some pacing issues. So try to keep up a consistency of funny and fix up the pacing in future epsiodes.

Voice Acting:
Now I do kinda like the voice work done in this series. Each character has their own voice I can distinguish and it helps me know who's saying what. But with that said, the line delivery and the acting overall needs work. I feel that I could have felt more of the comedy in your scripting if the delivery and acting was better so try to do some work on that.

Editing and Mixing:
I gotta say. For editing a non-anime series and it being a western animated show, this isn't to bad amigo! Many of the lip flaps weren't done to badly and overall the editing looked alright. But there were some hiccups in the editing I noticed. I notice this as I have seen other western animated abridged series (IE AbridgedBrothers and leik777's work) and usually don't see any of the hiccups in their works. But again, it isn't to bad for a western series in terms of editing. Its overall passable.

As for mixing, there's rly not much.... And that's the problem I have. There were many areas where there weren't any SFX or BGM that would have been awesome to put in. So try to watch that in editing.

Overall:
This series episode was alright but overall left me feelings of meh. Maybe its because the humor isn't my slice of pie. The voice acting I felt was alright. Voices were good and distinguishable but the acting was just OK and the delivery could have been way better carrying the jokes towards LOLs and less towards light chuckles. Pacing was also a tad problematic so try and fix that. Editing for a non-anime show wasn't to bad. But I did notice a few hiccups in it but nothing to annoying. Also many areas went without music or SFX so try incorporating more of that into your works to help further the pacing in it. Overall, not to bad but needs some work. Keep doin' whatcha doin'.

Space Ghost Abridged Episode 2 gets a: 2 1/2 out of 5

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05-04-2012, 12:19 AM
Post: #11
RE: MrSkoringo's Critique Emporium
I'll have a critique as well plz.




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05-08-2012, 06:14 PM
Post: #12
RE: MrSkoringo's Critique Emporium
[quote='MrSkoringo' pid='9539' dateline='1336108617']
Space Ghost Abridged Episode 2 by TheHawk Review





Background:
It maybe true that I am a humongous fan of anime, I do enjoy a good western animated show every once in a while. And when I'm not watching what anime japan has to offer, I often times will go to my TV and see what animated series in my region has to offer. However, when it comes to Space Ghost, the only real show I have watched on it was the more well known Space Ghost: Coast to Coast. I always thought it was a hilarious show and an interesting concept. As for the original Space Ghost, I haven't seen all that much of it (mostly bits and pieces) so I really cant place my opinion on that account.

As for your abridged series, I first heard about it here on the forums. I only saw a bit of episode 1 and thought it was quite meh. Has Episode 2 improved since then? Lets find out.

Writing:
I'm not gonna lie. The writing in this isn't to bad. Some of the jokes were pretty good. And this shows good potential with the comedy. Nothing lol ensuing but not bad. I chuckled a bit. Though I will say that this was only for the first half of the video. After the first half, the witting started to deteriorate and get to the levels of meh. I went from thinking this was kind of funny and chuckle worthy to just meh. There was also some pacing issues. So try to keep up a consistency of funny and fix up the pacing in future epsiodes.

Voice Acting:
Now I do kinda like the voice work done in this series. Each character has their own voice I can distinguish and it helps me know who's saying what. But with that said, the line delivery and the acting overall needs work. I feel that I could have felt more of the comedy in your scripting if the delivery and acting was better so try to do some work on that.

Editing:
I gotta say. For editing a non-anime series and it being a western animated show, this isn't to bad amigo! Many of the lip flaps weren't done to badly and overall the editing looked alright. But there were some hiccups in the editing I noticed. I notice this as I have seen other western animated abridged series (IE AbridgedBrothers and leik777's work) and usually don't see any of the hiccups in their works. But again, it isn't to bad for a western series in terms of editing. Its overall passable.

As for mixing, there's rly not much.... And that's the problem I have. There were many areas where there weren't any SFX or BGM that would have been awesome to put in. So try to watch that in editing.

Overall:
This series episode was alright but overall left me feelings of meh. Maybe its because the humor isn't my slice of pie. The voice acting I felt was alright. Voices were good and distinguishable but the acting was just OK and the delivery could have been way better carrying the jokes towards LOLs and less towards light chuckles. Pacing was also a tad problematic so try and fix that. Editing for a non-anime show wasn't to bad. But I did notice a few hiccups in it but nothing to annoying. Also many areas went without music or SFX so try incorporating more of that into your works to help further the pacing in it. Overall, not to bad but needs some work. Keep doin' whatcha doin'.

Space Ghost Abridged Episode 2 gets a: 2 1/2 out of 5

Pros:

"Your stuff is pretty good, but it's no TeamFourStar. Be more like them!"- My supportive roommate.

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05-10-2012, 06:35 PM
Post: #13
RE: MrSkoringo's Critique Emporium
I will be surprised if I get any more than 1.5/5 in this piece of garbage.




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05-10-2012, 11:59 PM
Post: #14
RE: MrSkoringo's Critique Emporium
I'm posting this here... Cause?

Thanks for all the good times.
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05-11-2012, 01:48 AM
Post: #15
RE: MrSkoringo's Critique Emporium
Section10's GITSA Episode 4 by Section10Abridged





Background:
I've always been one who enjoys watching Adult Swim from time to time on Saturdays. Yeah most of the crap is just reruns of Durarara, Brotherhood, Inuyasha, Big-O and others. But hey what the hell else is on on Saturday nights? Anyways, one show I enjoy watching on there has always been HGhost in the Shell: Stand Alone Complex and Ghost in the Shell 2nd Gig. I first got into the series when I saw both movies and loved them both. The art style and animation is beautiful, the CGI used is fine, and the story though complex with it's technobable and other mystery elements is always awesome.

As for your series, I first heard about it here on the forums. I watched a bit of your series and it dose show good potential. But what of your newest episode. Well, lets hack into Section 10 as I take a look at Section10's GITSA Episode 4 by Section10Abridged.

Writing:
I really like the writing in this series. I like alot of the jokes you have presented within the episode, I like what you've done with the characters, and its not to bad comedy wise. Kinda has a hbi2k feel with it. With that said, the pacing has much to be desired and there are quite a few moments in which it can slip into a fandiubish like state. As well as that there are many scenes that seem to drag on for quite a bit. So try to improve your pacing, avoid fandubishness, and make sure scenes don't go on for to long.

Voice Acting:
The voice acting in this is pretty good actually. Granted its not like TFS or OLSAbridged level voice acting but that's beside the point. I like the voices because they all fit the respective characters and are fairly well done. If I had any complaints, it would be that some characters can slip into samey sounding voices from time to time so see if it's possible that your VAs to change it up a bit. That or perhaps get a few more VAs.

Editing & Mixing:
I'm not sure if the editor's a first timer nor do I know of his experience in editing, but I be giving the major kudos to the editor. The editing in this is pretty well done. I have no real objections in terms of the visual editing.

As for the mixing, that needs some tuning up. Some mics for the actor's mics overpower each other on occasion in volume so keep your ears on that and try to correct that. I also noticed that some actors had different mics from the sound of it. So maybe some line cleaning on a few actor's takes would be good. Everything else is fine.

Overall:
I'm impressed with this episode. It's writing is fairly solid and can be pretty funny on occasion, the acting is pretty good, the editing is nicely done, and the mixing (though in need of tune ups) is pretty good. In terms of where it needs the writing can often slip into fandubishness and there are many scenes which drag on for quite a bit and as I said, the mixing needs a bit of tuning up. But I gotta say, this was actually pretty good.

Section10's GITA Episode 4 by Section10Abridged gets a: 4 out of 5

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05-11-2012, 10:03 AM
Post: #16
RE: MrSkoringo's Critique Emporium
Shit just seen this review Tongue
Thanks man, I know there's a lot of BlazBlue and Guilty Gear references but it's because Allen likes Blazblue and Kanda likes Guilty Gear so it's a part of the episode. Still, I think episode 1 is better JOKE wise.

Again, thanks for the review AND even wasting your time to watch the first episode willingly.
My next vid will be better, actually can I put my next vid here?

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05-11-2012, 11:32 AM
Post: #17
RE: MrSkoringo's Critique Emporium
My face while reading your review.

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Thanks a lot man. And yes, your hunch about the mics is correct and and I'll try to fix that for next time. And thank you for the editing kudos. :D

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05-14-2012, 07:24 PM (This post was last modified: 06-17-2012 11:12 AM by MrSkoringo.)
Post: #18
RE: MrSkoringo's Critique Emporium
Inuyasha WTF AbridgeMENT Episode 3 by ArkaKun





Background:
As I stated in my GITSA review, I am a watcher of Adult Swim's Saturday night schedule (as well as the other days of the week). So it's very safe to assume that I have seen a good amount of Inuyasha. Yes though Inuyasha wasn't my most favorite of the adult swim anime line up, it was still pretty enjoyable. Then again, it is to be expected from the great Romero Takahashi. The show was fine by my standards and wasn't bad for a watch... Though it being reran on TV makes it get old after quite a while.

As for this AbridgeMENT, I first heard about it when ArkaKun actually subscribed to me on youtube on his 13thAkatsuki account. I checked out his channel and started watching Inuyasha WTF AbridgeMENT (Before the AbridgeMENT part of the title was added) Episode 1 and I rly liked it. I always have a liking for the lulzy randomness and it is rly enjoyable overall. Then Episode 2 came out and showed lots of improvements. Which then brings us to Episode 3. So, lets go down the well and un-sheath the Tetsiga. Here's my review of Inuyasha WTF AbridgeMENT Episode 3- No More Fun-Fun by ArkaKun. (Please take note that I have seen this series before and the episodes so this may not be the longest critique)

Writting:
The humor of the series is very much of that of the classic MENT PurpleEyes style with a dash of the "random XD Lolloolololo wtfbbq monkey cheese pie" humor with a small dash of plot. With that, said, you can pull it off really well and as I also say in other abridged critiques and past posts on this fine forum, "If you can pull it off, you can pull it off!" And Arka, you can for sure pull it off! I honestly got quite a laugh out of the dialogue in this series and even the random bits and side gags were nice due to them being spaced out and well used.I also like how each villan is a certain celebrity. (In this case If anything I object to it would be the TFS reference (for obvious reasons) which was face-palm worthy (again obvious reasons), and the whole little kids translation joke was kinda meh for me, and that the speed of this series in quite a few parts moves a bit fast. I know I talked about previous projects moving to slow, but some parts in yours move to fast. So try to work on that. Aside from that, the jokes are good.

Voice Acting:
This is another thing I like in the series. All the voices are distinct and different. I like Inuyasha's voice the most, Kagome's voice took a couple episodes to grow on me but is good and Kaede's voice is pretty good. I also liked Mike for Kagura of the Demon Hair. Surprisingly fitting voice. So nothing really wrong with the voice acting.

Editing & Mixing:
Again. Not much to say here. U got the visual editing art down to a T. All the lip flaps match, the visual gags are well done and edited well.

As for the sound mixing, that seems to be done well too. Maybe add some BGM but nothing else here either in need of improvement.

Overall:
This episode really has the works in terms of abridging. The writing is pretty solid though random at times, the voice acting is fairly well done and the editing and mixing is also good. If anything, this isn't perfect but damn close to it. Keep up the good work Arka!

Inuyasha WTF AbridgeMENT Episode 3 by ArkaKun gets a: 4 1/2 out of 5

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05-14-2012, 07:40 PM
Post: #19
RE: MrSkoringo's Critique Emporium
[quote='MrSkoringo' pid='10014' dateline='1337041486']
Inuyasha WTF AbridgeMENT Episode 3 by ArkaKun

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05-15-2012, 11:31 AM
Post: #20
RE: MrSkoringo's Critique Emporium
skoringo, so far you've only reviewed single episode, would you also be willing to review a whole set of episodes, all together?
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